Say What (?!?) Sunday - It's a Wonderful Life Version

This past Friday one of my favorite Christmas movies of all time was on tv.  "It's a Wonderful Life" is such a great classic.  My hubby thinks it's cheesy but I LOVE it.

We started the first part of the movie...you know when the angels are talking to each other as stars in the sky?

Logan: Is the WHOLE movie going to be like this?
My hubby and I, in unison: Yes.  Yes it is.

Hehe...this movie is going to be a different world for him.

Say What (?!?) Sunday - A new way to sell and things you're not allowed to do as a foster parent

My hubby and I attended BIT (Behavior Intervention Training) today.  It's a required annual training class that, if you're unprepared like us, is the same class over and over again.  You could be savvy and take it through the year when it is offered by different foster parent associations or school groups and end up taking different kinds of BIT classes, but we've ended up waiting till the last minute most years which leaves us taking the formal PRIDE BIT trainiang class with the newbie foster parents-in-training.  Honestly, I enjoy that because it reminds me of what it was like to be passionate and, well, new to this whole world.  It also gives me the chance to share my experiences with people in real life.  Wahoo.

They started the class with the list of things you cannot do.  Hit, slap, pinch, pull hair - these were all things on the list.

PRIDE Foster parent co-teacher: "You can't tie them to the tree or lock them outside without water". 

I actually snorted.  Did she really need to say that?

The class got out after 2 hours - we got 4 hours credit.  WHAT!  That was awesome and we took the opportunity to go grocery shopping alone, without our kids.  Yes we did. 

While we were at Target there was this really pushy (but with Southern Charm of course) sampling lady.  She was sampling cheese puffs.  You should of heard all the things she was saying of these cheese balls.  I'm not TOTALLY against cheese balls but these were the ones in the absolutely giant container that really don't end up on my "feed the kids this semi-healthy food" list.  Once in a blue moon, if that.

As I turned the corner to another aisle I heard her say:
Sampling lady: "And look at this great art-deco container"

She was dead serious.  I think. 

Y'all - this was the same clear-package with a red lid that cheese balls already come in.  Art-deco. 

It cracked me up. 

Too funny.  She was really trying.

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Help from the president...

Out of the “Say What?!?” box...

My son must have seen something about the presidential inauguration because over the weekend we had this conversation:

L: Mom – you know that thing where the president gets up and talks to everyone?

Mie: Sure!  Sometimes they have speeches and soon they will have an inauguration.

L: Yeah, that.  I’m going to go there one of these days.

Mie: You are?  That’s great Logan.

L: Yep.  I’m going to go there and then I’m going to ask him a question.  I’m going to ask him when he is going to fix it so that when someone finds money or earn money or win money they stop putting it in the newspaper.

Mie: Ok, why do you want to tell him that?

L: Because of the bad guys?

Mie: Tell me more.  What do you mean? 

L: I want to do whatever I can to stop the bad guys in the United States from doing things bad and when they put it in the newspaper, you know...

Mie: You mean that bad guys can find where the money is if they write it in the newspaper when someone wins or earns or finds money?

L: Yeah, and so if we don’t put it in the newspaper the bad guys won’t find it and it will be better!

Hmmm.  Smart kid.  I would like to know what collection of experiences he’s had to help him think through that!  

Say What (!?!) Sunday - She's Who?

I love you all - I miss you!  I don't think I've signed onto my blog for 2 weeks now. I've been working like crazy, coming home and taking care of the 5 kiddos, then "working" another full-time job completing my dissertation draft for submission until 1 or 2 am each night.  I've had 4-5 hours of sleep, interrupted by at least one kiddo of course, for the past 30 days.  There has been NO time for blogging and I've been really good to stay away.

But I've missed you all.  A lot has changed since the last time we spoke.

• #13 arrived.  We now have another 3 year old boy.  This means on top of everything that has been going on we added 3 kids in 2 weeks, all from separate placements.  This is also our first public case meaning the reason for removal was all over tv.  Thankfully the news isn't directly related to our little guy so no one actually knows the connection, but it has been interesting to say the least.
• #12 came to us toothless.  Since she's been here she's cut 5 teeth and has 3 more at the surface.  That's 8 teeth in 3 weeks.  Poor kiddo.  You can imagine she's pretty grumpy.
• Logan started kindergarten at the big boy school.  We did the whole take-him-into-the-classroom thing, waited until the class started, and then the hubby dragged me away kicking and screaming.  It wasn't that bad but I was really relieved at the end of the day Logan called to say that school was AWESOME! and he was extremely emphatic about it.  Since then it's been wonderful.
• Logan started taking the school bus.  So far so good there too.  I was worried about it but he enjoys it and it has worked out well so far.

I thought it was Sunday but it's actually Monday.  It really doesn't matter - I have a funny Say What for you.

Setting - Dinner, 1st or 2nd night with #13.

#13 - ...and Hope* did this and Hope* did that and Hope* gets in trouble a lot...(name made up, but he talks about this individual a lot)

Mie - "Oh, I see.  Who is Hope?"

#13 - My wife.  straight-faced, without missing a beat.

The hubby and I did our best to not bust out in laughter.  He was so matter-of-fact and sure about it that it just caught us off guard.  Too funny.

Hope that brightened your day - thanks for continuing to come around to see mie even though I haven't "been" here much.  Stick around - I plan to submit my draft dissertation in a couple days and then I should have a little bit more time on my hands.  I also have a couple FAQ questions that were requested of mie and a few people who've reached out and asked to guest post and/or have mie share information in the next few weeks so I should be here again soon.  

Say What (?!?) Sunday - I didn't recognize the number

I thought you'd all get a kick out of this little story.  My sister and her family became licensed for foster/adopt in the same county I'm licensed in about 6 months ago and have yet to have any placements.  They received several calls a few months ago - of course they were out-of-state- but since then haven't heard a word.  This shocks my husband and I who haven't gone more than a month on the list without getting a placement.  It's pretty surprising considering how you always hear what a great need there is for foster parents.

Anywho - we were discussing it on Memorial Day - still no calls.  She mentioned she doesn't think about it as much anymore, since it's been so long. 

So she texts mie this morning:

Sister - I'm such an idiot.  My cell phone rang at 12:30am and I looked at it ant thought I don't know who that is and went back to sleep.

Sister - Of course it was a foster placement.  That never even crossed my mind.

This is now 8 hours later.  I tell her to call back anyway - they may still need someone and it never hurts to build a relationship with the CPU workers so they know to call YOU next time they have a placement.

I'm so frustrated for my sister and her family who have been waiting but really get a chuckle out of that situation.  Seeing as how my case may be going toward reunification sooner rather than later, I sure hope they get a placement soon!  I don't want to be waiting as long as they have to get another placement!

With all the talk about waiting for "the call" we've had before - I hope you all enjoy this little snafu too.

Edited to add - I got a call at 9pm the same night I wrote this, which happened to be the same day my sister sent me those texts.  


Sister: I'm going to start this conversation out by saying that I'm not joking.
Mie: Ok.
Sister: So I put my phone in my room to charge and then went in the living room to vacuum and clean.


You guessed it - she missed ANOTHER placement in the same day for not answering her phone.  This time it was the same placement worker (and the same one that called me with 2 or 3 of my placements - I love this particular CPU worker).  She had a 2 week old!!!!  Deep breath.

I'm sill hoping that she gets a call (and answers it, and accepts the placement, and the kids actually come) soon!  Apparently reunification is coming sooner than expected in our case and we might be placement-less by August so I'm really hoping that my sister has a placement by then so we're not waiting on the list behind her :)  I mean, it's good that there aren't kids that need a placement but I don't want to wait THAT long for the next call...

Say What (?!?) Sunday BONUS! - The One True God

I originally had scheduled yesterday's Say What (?!?) post so that it would post up today, but then I got a really good gem that is so much more fitting for Easter Sunday - the day of our resurrected Lord.  Today is the day we celebrate His sacrifice for us and the fact that not even death could contain his love for us but even more so in His death and subsequent resurrection He showed His love for us far more sacrificially than any of us do for those we love.

Friday my sister was watching my son Logan so that he could play with his cousins on his day off rather than going to another friend's house who has kids who are much younger.  Apparently Logan and his cousin Aurora (7) got into what my sister called a "theological conversation...about different gods people believe in".

Oh how I wish I could have been there to witness that.  As usual between these two it happened in the aisles of Target.  I was at work instead of there with them so my sister texted mie:

L: Yes, but we believe in the one true God.


Amen brother-man.

If you ever wonder if what you teach your children actually sticks in their brain, here's proof that maybe they're picking up on it.

Happy Easter my friends!

Say What (?!?) Sunday - What mom thinks

We took our kids out-of-state on our recent vacation.  This means that we had to get specific permission from the state to allow our foster kiddos to come with us.  I gave them plenty of notice to make sure we could either get permission or find respite care while we were gone.

About 10 days before we left on the trip I contacted the CW because I hadn't received approval yet.  This caseworker is usually on the ball so I thought maybe she'd missed it - nope, later that day I received the formal approval in the mail.  Crazy - I can't believe how good she is.

Anyway, I had to talk to her about something else that I'll blog about so I took the opportunity of a phone call to verify approval and talk about the other topic.  After she told mie she was approved we had this conversation:

CW - Actually, I was going to call you about that.  Mom is nervous about the trip - can you call mie when you get there and let mie know you're safe?

Mie - Sure, but we're not planning to get there until 7 or so and that will be 9 or so you're time, do you just want mie to leave you a voicemail?

CW - Why don't you text mie.  Mom thinks you're going taking them out-of-state to steal her kids.  And she's worried that there will be a car accident.

This is the dumb drama we have to deal with sometimes.  It's not a problem to text the CW at all and I got both her work and personal cell numbers out of the deal, but really?  I can't tell you how crazy it is that she'd think WE would steal her kids.  

First of all - does she know how much we don't want to live in CA and how much we love living where we live?  What did she think we were going to do?  Abandon our jobs and our two houses here to live in poverty out there under assumed identities?  I know stranger things have happened but still.

Second - If we planned to steal the kids, why would we have asked for permission from the courts?  That just seems counter-intuitive no?  Wouldn't we have just left and not told anyone where we were going?

Third - We have had 6 placements and haven't stolen one yet.  What makes her think we'd steal HER kids - of all of them?  I mean they're great kids and we'll keep fighting for what's best for them but I hardly think running off with them would be in their best interest.

I could keep going.  Just dumb.

Thankfully CW was on top of her game and explained to mom how crazy she sounded by expressing these particular concerns.  Apparently it's not the first time and its beginning to become enough of an issue that their threatening to add it to the list of official concerns on the case.  She pointed out that we drive with the kids every. single. day.  She pointed out we told them exactly when we'd be leaving, when we'd be coming back, and where exactly we were going to be.  

And we texted CW when we got there.

It wasn't requested but I also texted CW when we got home.  That text read "I didn't steal the kids.  We're back home now and the kids will be ready for their visit in the morning".  

She replied "LOL.  I'm sure (mom) will be glad you didn't steal her kids :)"

I love good caseworkers.  It really makes a foster mom's job easier.

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Avery is what?

Don't forget to enter to win a copy of Francis Chan's book "Crazy Love".

A few weeks ago we were driving in the car, on our way to Auntie K's house (about 1 mile away) and Logan and I had this strange conversation:

L: Mommy - Aurora (cousin) says I like Avery.
Mie: Who's Avery?
L: I don't know, but Aurora says I like her.

I'm trying to figure out how Aurora knows Avery and Logan doesn't know who she is...


Mie: Are you talking about Avery from school?  How does Aurora know her?
L: No, not that Avery.  I don't know what Aurora means.

I'm totally confused so I drop it and we move on with our day.  


Then Friday night Aurora came over to play and stay the night.  As we were out to dinner at our favorite local all-u-can-eat pizza buffet the saga magically continues:


Aurora: Avery is Logan's girlfriend.
Daddy: Mommy - did you hear that?
Mie: Logan - Avery from school?  What does it mean that she is your girlfriend?
L: She's my girlfriend (totally non-chalant)
Mie: Is Addie your girlfriend?
L: No.  Just Avery.
I then proceeded through all the girls I knew from his school - trying to figure out if she was just a friend that was a girl.
L: No mom, just Avery.
Mie: What about Cate?
L: No - that's Marcus' girlfriend.

Say what?  You and your best bud both have girlfriends?  Get out of town.


At this point Daddy is trying not to laugh and Mommy is trying to figure out how to handle this conversation in a way that helps him know he can talk about "this stuff" with his mom and dad but while also setting the standard that he doesn't need to be worrying about girlfriends right now.


Mie: Can you pay for her house?
L: Yes.  Well, no.  I have money but not enough.
Mie: Then you have no business having a girlfriend.
L: But mom, she doesn't NEED a house.
Mie: Until you can pay for her house you don't need to have a girlfriend, you need to work on learning and becoming a good man after God's heart.
Daddy:  Well, I don't give my girlfriends a house.
Mie: You shouldn't have any girlfriends.

As daddy and I are having this comical exchange, Logan reaches his head over to Aurora:


L: What are you trying to do, get me in trouble?

Dang - I didn't think I'd have to start these talks now.  How do I keep him from thinking about girls at 5?!?

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Random Musings

Here are a few things I heard around the house recently:

As she sat on the stool at the island eating her afternoon snack:
#9 - Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy.
Mie - Yes #9?
#9 - Mommy, can you clean my pan-tees.
Mie - Yes.  Why do I need to clean your pan-tees?
#9 - Because I went poopy.
Mie - Then no, I can't clean them.  We are going to throw them away.
She's fully potty trained.  I guess it happens but I assure you it was nasty.


As we sat watching Monster Jam this past weekend:
Logie - Mommy. (he leans in trying to whisper)
Mie - Yes Logie
Logie - Mommy.  I'm going for whichever one is going to win.
Mie - Got it.

We had this next conversation several times yesterday:
#9 - Mommy.  Mommy.  Mommy.  (this is common).
Mie - Yes #9.
#9 - I like cats.
Mie - You like cats?
#9 - Yes.  Is she coming over?
Mie - Oh, you mean Ms. Kat (the babysitter)?  No she's not coming today.
#9 - Why not?
Mie - Because we're going to stay with you.
#9 - Why?
Mie - Because we love you.
#9 - Are you going to go to big church?
Mie - No, we already went to church today.
#9 - Are you going to big church again?
Mie - (this is weird...we never call it big church) - We'll go again but not today.
#9 - Is Ms. Kat coming?
Mie - OH, you mean "big trucks", monster jam?  No we're not going to go today.  We're going to stay home.
#9 - Why?

Sheesh.  We then went on to talk about how we were staying home with her because we love her and proceeded to quiz us on whether we love everyone else in the house too.  It was cute.


Have a great week everyone!

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Daddy's Job

Logan has been attaching to his dad recently.  He loves his mommy for sure and has typically leaned toward mommy most of the time, even secretly whispering in my ear most anything he wants to say before he says it to anyone else, including daddy.  He often whispers to mie - "Mommy, I still love daddy but I love you MORE".  We've worked on that.  But Logan is getting older now and NEEDS his daddy - good thing daddy's new work schedule allows for much more daddy time.  It's perfect timing to go through this change in our home if you ask mie.

One night this week Logan wanted to cuddle in bed - with daddy, not mommy.  Several times recently he's told mie not to worry, he still loves mie, but he loves his daddy more.  All of this makes my little mommy heart twinge a bit, but mostly I'm happy for the relationship that is growing between him and his dad.  I think it's great, even though part of that relationship is centered on Modern Warfare 3.  I mean boys bond differently and all right?

Back to the Say What (?!?) piece.  While we were all cuddling that night daddy had to get up and go do something.  It gave Logie and mie the opportunity to have a conversation.  We love conversations:

L: Mommy, I don't want my daddy to be a police officer.  Or a fire fighter.
Mie: Ok Logie, but why?
L: I want him to be able to cuddle with mie every night at bed time and to sleep right - here - next to me.
Mie: I see.  Well what do you want him to be instead?
L: I want him to have two jobs.  I want him to work for Coke and to work for Sprite.


You all see where this is going right?

L: That way, he could bring mie home drinks.


I didn't bother to tell him that Coke and Sprite were the same company nor did I point out that we wouldn't let him drink Coke and only would let him drink sprite on occasion.  It was a moment too cute to spoil with mommy lectures.

Alas, daddy works where he works and it is not in any way related to Coca-Cola.  Nevertheless, a kid could dream!

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Only Child Schmonly Child

Logan had a few rough points this week.  He's generally sensitive.  He was tired.  It led to a few melt downs - you know, the huge sobbing kind.

One night I took him on a date.  We went to Baskin Robbins.  We both had pink lemonade ice on sugar cones - his with chocolate dip and sprinkles.  During the date we talked about how he liked going on dates, what his favorite mommy/son date is, etc.  We also talked about what he likes doing with his daddy.

Mie: We don't go on very many dates, just you and mie, any more do we?
L: No (he said casually)
Mie: Yeah, that's because we usually have the other kids with us when we go out.  Do you remember when you didn't have any brothers and sisters?
L: Yes.
Mie: Really?  Do you remember the first time we got (#1 & #2) and you went to bed one night and the next morning they were there?
L: Yes, I remember.
Mie: Would you like it to go back to having no brothers and sisters, where you are the only child?


He thinks about it for a minute.  I was afraid he would say yes.  But this is Logan we're talking about.

L: shaking his head indicating I'm crazy - No, mom, we ADOPTED Summer.  We couldn't do that.
Mie: Yes Logie, that's right....


Dear son, sometimes mommies and daddies are smarter than they seem.  We don't always ask crazy questions for no reason.  Sometimes we know that what we are asking sounds utterly ridiculous but we are curious as to how you will react. I'm sure that makes brains like yours crazy.  And it makes you think we're not so smart.  I understand this.  When you are older, I pray you have smart kids too.  Kids who give you a run for your money like you do for us.  Who else would be there to keep us on our toes?
Love,
Mommy

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Being the Boss

Mommy is usually the boss around the house.  Daddy would be, but he's not usually home when we are so mommy becomes the ultimate order keeper unless she has to pull out the big guns and disciple my kiddos.  You know "...because God said...".

Unfortunately, this power struggle is not easily one with 4 kiddos in tow.  There is almost always someone challenging the authority.  It's not often intentional - they're just being kids and in doing so they manage to test the rules to which mommy has to respond as the always calm, loving, and peace-making enforcer.

Scenario #1 - Logan's the Boss

It seems as if every time I walk out of the room Logan automatically takes charge of the kids, whether or not I asked him to.  Typically, this is followed by #9's loud protests..."MOOOMMMMYYYY.  Logan told mie to be QUIIIIIEEEET".  Whoever said this girl doesn't talk much was clearly mistaken, though I'm glad she talks more than they said she did.

Mie: Logan, you are not the boss.  Let mommy be mommy and you be Logan.

L: But mommy, I AM the boss.

Mie: No Logie, you are Logan and you are a great helper to mommy, but I'm in charge.

L: I am not a helper.  I am the boss.  You are the boss, daddy is the boss, and I am the boss.

Mie: No Logan, sometimes you help us with your brothers and sisters and you are a great big brother, but mommy and daddy are the boss and you are our helper.  If you see they are going to hurt themselves and mommy and daddy aren't there I know you will help them be safe, but if you have any other problems with what they are doing or saying you need to tell mommy and daddy and let us handle it.

...walking away to end the conversation that will inevitably continue if I stay put...

L: (From a distance...)  But I'm in charge too!

Scenario #'s 2+ - Miss 9's the Boss
I have a feeling #9 had to be mommy sometimes at home.  This would be consistent with the case.  That being said, her age and situation probably are also contributing to her need to act like mommy in our home.  I'm frequently having to handle her intervention into the situation to help her learn that I am mommy and she is not.

#9 - Mooommmy, if Summer gets out of bed she is going to get a spank.
Mie - #9, Summer needs to be in bed.  We don't spank you in our home.  You will be #9, I will be mommy.

#9 - Moooommmy, if #10 throws his plate on the floor then he won't get anymore.
Mie - Yes sweetheart, that is true.  Try to focus on what you  do and I will be mommy.

#9 - Mooommmyyy, look what #10 is doing.
Mie - Yes dear, he is playing with the clothes.
#9 - If he plays with the clothes he's going to get a spank.
Mie - No #9, we do not spank #10.  It's ok, he can play with the clothes.
#9 - He's going to get in trouble and go in time out.
Mie - No, he's not going to get in trouble, he is fine.  You be #9 and I'll be mommy ok.

This can go on and on.  Some of it has to do with her processing the rules in our house compared to rules in other homes she's lived in.  I think she's also trying to figure out how to handle consistent parenting rather than what I'm going to guess was explosive or inconsistent parenting in the past.


Scenario #3 - Bugs in the house
Apparently there was a problem with insect infestation in #9 and #10's old house.  Anytime one sneaks in, or just randomly, I get this:
#9 - Mommy, we don't eat bugs.  No. Bugs are not for eating.

And in case you weren't sure that kids pick things up from their parents...
(I write this down to remind MIE sometimes...)

This morning I heard #9 in the other room correcting her brother in my typical fashion.

#9 - #10 ... you MAY NOT pull my hair.


That's how I correct them...you may not play in the toilet...you may not bite...you may not take food without asking for permission first.

It's the little things...

Say What (?!?) Sunday – Newest “isms”

My house is never lacking interesting, cute, and surprising things coming out of kids’ mouths. Our newest kiddos are no exception. Well, really only #9 – she talks but #10 doesn’t. Here are a few things we’ve heard around our home in the last week:
“I’m going to pee (poop) myself” – props for trying to form a full sentence, but how about “I have to use the bathroom”.

“He jacked my macaroni” – Think about a sweet little 3 year old girls voice, trying hard to enunciate “Ma-ca-ROW-ni” – and then add the phrase “jack” instead of something sweet like “take”.

She calls my husband "Damien".  Not sure why - it's not even close to his name and his name is the same as her brother and fathers name, so she knows the name.  No idea where Damien comes from.
She also sings a lot.
Jingle Bells - “Tinker bells, Tinker bells, Tinker all the way…” When I corrected her to Jingle Bells – it then became “Chingle Bells, Chingle Bells…”

Jesus Loves Me – “Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so. He is so strong, he is so strong. Yes Jesus Loves Me! Jesus loves me this I know…”

“I have a baby turtle, his name is Tiny Tim. I put him in the bathtub to see if he could swim. He drank up all the water, he ate up all the soap! And now he’s stuck in bed with a bubble in his throat. Bubble Bubble Bubble Pop!

Also – I haven’t figured out how yet, but her “Itsy Bitsy Spider” has a fairy in it…
Fun times!

Say What (!?!) Sunday - Karate

Our son recently began Karate lessons through the city. We thought he'd love it, but after his initial excitement about the idea he began to get leary. It was sudden and we weren't getting the whole story, but as soon as I told him he was signed up he began to protest and begged that I don't take him.

After some coaxing, we began to get to the "root causes" of his fear about taking Karate lessons. It helped when we told him that daddy took Karate for 4 weeks and that Batman knew Karate, but his fears were really eased after two particular conversations where he was able to get his little boy fears out.

#1 - Collateral Damage

As we were riding in the car on our way home from school I excitedly told L I had finally signed him up for lessons, something we'd talked about for a while.  Instead of excitement I got the mini-tantrum, which eventually led to this:

L: But Mommy, I don't want to hurt anyone!

I actually think he was worried about getting hurt himself, but he has a sensitive soul so I can see him being worried about hurting someone too.  I assured him that they were going to teach him how to do Karate but also how to use it responsibly so that he wouldn't hurt anyone unless it was in an emergency.  We've talked about emergencies a lot and even have an "emergency scream" that we practice just in case, like if a stranger tried to grab him.

#2 - Skin Changes

Another day altogether we were walking down the street, just to go for a walk as a family.  We hadn't been talking about Karate at all and were having a rather pleasant conversation until out of nowhere:

L: Mommy, when I start Karate is my skin going to turn dark?

Thankfully I'm quick, because that threw me through a huge loop.  And he was REALLY worried about it.  I mean, almost shaking kind of nervous.

Mie:  No Logie, God gave you the skin color you were born with and that is the skin color you are going to keep.  Is that why you don't want to start Karate?

With fear and processing he nodded his head.

Then it hit mie.  The only experience my son has with Karate is from the movie The Karate Kid from 2010.  he has not seen any of the originals but has seen the new one several times. 

He thought he'd get hurt like the boy in the movie.
He thought he'd turn dark skin like the boy in the movie.
He thought his teacher would be Chinese, like both teachers in the movie.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnd....now it all makes sense.

I thought about sitting down and watching the original movies with him, but I think they were too grown-up for him at his age.  I know I was terrified about the skeleton costumes when I was a kid (come on...not the only one right?).

I took the opportunity to talk about how people who do Karate have lots of different skin colors and each person looks different. I pointed out that daddy did Karate and his skin didn't turn dark. I pointed out that Uncle Mike and Uncle Bob did Karate too and Uncle Mike is asian and has darker skin but Uncle Bob has lighter skin and isn't Asian - karate students and teachers come in all sorts of shapes, sizes, and "colors".

We also took the opportunity to talk about how God makes people differently and that He does so on purpose, knowing who he wants each person to be so that if He created Logan with light skin then he wanted Logan to be just the way he is and if he created Uncle Mike with darker skin then he wanted Uncle Mike to have darker skin and that both of them were precious, special, and just the way God wanted them to look.  I told him I didn't know who would be teaching his class and what that person would look like, but I assured him that the skin color didn't matter and mommy or daddy would be there to make sure the teacher wasn't mean to him and wouldn't be able to hurt him. 

What a conversation.  I'm glad my son feels comfortable bringing things up to discuss with us and that we are able to have those teachable moments, because I would have never assumed THAT was on his mind.

I love the brains of little kiddos - especially my Logie.

Say What (?!?) Sunday - Consideration

Today's post is less about the words used and more about the action.  It's also less about Sunday and more about Monday morning - it's my blog and I can change the rules if I want to :)

This morning we were getting ready to get in the car to head to school with our new morning routine.  #7 and #8 went home over the weekend (I'll talk about that later), which means life in our house is much simpler.  To help it be even more simple, we moved #4 to her new school, the same as her brother, because she will be adopted in 10 DAYS!!!! and in less than that won't qualify for state paid daycare anyway, so we took the plunge to move her now. 

As we were getting ready to go...

Mie: Logie, can you do mommy a favor?
L: Sure! (really, he was enthusiastic about it!)
Mie: Logie, can you get mommy a water bottle, you know, the ones in the pantry?
L: Why mommy?
Mie: Because I need to take my (allergy) medicine and I'd like to drink it on the way to work.

So he cheerfully does it - what a blessing to ask a child to do something and he willfully does it with joy!  Oh how we're enjoying our home right now without #7 (and #8).  Then he comes back.

L: Here you go mommy (2 bottles in hand).  Here's one for your medicine and one for on the way to work.   Or, if you don't want it on the way to work, maybe you can drink it at work, you know, if you get bored.
Mie: So if I get bored at work or need a break I can take a drink of water?
L: Sure! 
Mie: Sounds great Logie.

I told him as best I could, but I don't think I could ever tell him enough how much that meant to mie.  How his thoughtfulnes just resonated with my spirit.

This weekend was peaceful.  It was still busy; we still had lots to do.  But it was peaceful.  We needed peaceful.

Say What (!?!) Sunday - Party Request

This weekend we celebrated Logan's birthday.  I wanted to cry the entire weekend.  I can't believe he is growing up.  Furthermore, I struggle with feeling I'll never be able to show him how much he is loved and how special he really is.  Then top it off with his usual conversations like this one, and it just makes a momma want to weep!

L: Mom.
Mie: Yes L.
L: Mom.
Mie: Yes L.
I throw this in for posterity - to give you that "real life" feel!

L: Mom I want to throw a party.
Mie: Ok Log. 
L: But not a birthday party. 
Mie: Ok, why do you want...
L: Interrupting - he's learned the art of conversation in our home well.  I want to throw a party to say sorry to you.  Remember a long, long time ago?
Mie: Yes, when Logie?
L: A long, long, time ago when I was mean and called you a brat and stuff?

I assure you, this was a long, long time ago.  Several months, maybe close to a year!

Mie: Yes, Logie.  I remember that.  You didn't talk with love that day.
L: Yes and I threw a big fit.  I never said sorry to you mommy.  (Yes, he did...I assure you) I want to throw a party for you to say I'm sorry to you for talking mean to you mommy.  I love you so much and I don't want to talk mean to you.

I honestly don't know what I said after that...probably a reminder that I forgave him, an acknowledgement of his kindness and remebering to say sorry and thoughtfulness about the party.  But I was so caught up in the sweetness of that conversation that I don't remember what happened next!

Oh.  I just love that boy.

Say What (!?!) Sunday - Things that make you go hmmm....

Our little Logie continues to keep us laughing (inside, because outside would hurt his feelings).  He's got such a strong brain on his shoulders that he often says something really profound that amazes us.  But then he's also not-yet-5 and therefore doesn't know everything so he fills in the blank with his imagination.  Put the two together and you get a gem like this:

(while driving, after hearing a few days before that his uncle Mike had been in war as a Marine - to which he was amazed).

L: Mom, I know how some bad guys got here (the US, presumably)
Mie: Really?  How?
L: They dressed up and pretended to be the good guys and got back in line with the good guys to come home (from war)
Mie: Yes Logie, I bet some bad guys have done that before.  Sometimes bad guys pretend to be good guys so we don't know that they are bad guys.
L:  Yeah, so that's how they did it when they came home on the rocket ship.
Mie: The rocket ship?  Where were they coming from?
L: Space.
Mie: So, Logie, where does war happen?
L: Outer space. 
Mie: I see.

See what I mean?  *chuckle, chuckle*...love that mind that hasn't been tainted too much with the horrors of things that happen here on Earth.  btw...I did explain to him that at least sometimes war happens on Earth - like when Uncle Mike went...

I really struggle with being amused by the conversation with my son Logie and being annoyed with similar conversations with #7.  Sometimes I wonder if it's because Logie is my bio-son and the other is a foster-son and condemn myself a bit for that, hoping I'm not showing favoritism or being easily annoyed by "someone else's child".  I sure hope that's not it.

#7's conversations, to mie, are a bit more aggravating.  Unlike Logie's conversations which appear to have good thought behind them with the occasional dramatics or imagination, #7 is most often nonsensical so much that when there's a logical conversation it's actually surprising.  Sometimes to mie it's like what I know of Alzheimers or other dementia-type disorders/diseases.  I'm thinking about the woman on The Notebook....you know where she's gone most of the time but then peek's through for brief moments?  That's how it feels sometimes with him.  Most of the time, the conversations are like the one below and that gives mie a bit of reassurance (maybe it shouldn't) that it's not just mie loving one kid more than another:

...this morning, while driving on a country road.

#7 - MOM!
Mie - Yes #7?
#7 - I've been to a parking lot!
Mie - Yes you have.
he repeated that  a few times, each time with my reassurance.  Then...
#7 - Are there beds there?
Mie - Where #7?
#7 - At the parking lot.  Are there beds at the parking space?
Mie - No #7, the cars park in a parking space.  You've been there remember?

Mind you, we're not talking about a particular parking space and there really aren't any places around that have parking spaces that he might be referring to...we're near open fields.

#7 - Oh, ok.  Can I go inside one?
Mie - What, a parking space?
#7 - Yeah. he says, as if that's a compeletly logical question.

These conversations drive mie batty.  Please don't hate mie.  I really try to get inside his head and try to think about what he's could be thinking.  I try to fit it all together like a puzzle.  I really try to be patient and encouraging as he uses his imagination to learn about his world.  Maybe it's just mie and my too-logical head (that really appreciate's Logie's logic), but most of the time I can't figure it out...though I know what he's saying doesn't make any sense (for his age) I can't figure out what he might be trying to say so I can help him.

Truth is he is smart and talented in his own ways, but he's struggling, I believe with a particular attachment disorder and therefore the incessant non-sensical questioning.  This really could (and probably will) turn into a different post, but as I was explaining to his parents last week what I believe he is doing is trying to reach out and make sure I'm still there and that I still love and care for him because usually this is in the car when he's in the far back and I'm in the front.  After 6 months he still needs to know I'm there for him....that is what I believe it's all about so whatever comes out when he opens his mouth is worthy of saying.  If I remember that then my heart is a bit more sensitive and rather than playing into the nonsensical conversation I remind him I love him and am still here.

But, today is Say What (!?!) Sunday - so I'll leave these two conversations for your amusement rather than psychological interpretation.  For today.  :)

Say What ?!? Sunday - Proud Moments

My son made mie so proud this weekend. He always does, but these two take the cake.


Apparently last week at school he got in trouble for "smart talking". He even got sent up to the office. I'm familiar with such tirades, not only because I've witnessed them at home but if I'm honest I was known to go off on similar rants as a kiddo. (and, by the way, I thought I was totally justified at the time...). So I get it - he thinks he knows everything; add that to some tiredness, embarassment, frustration of being older in a younger kids body, and maybe some hunger (from his dad's side) and he can start smart talking. Anyway, that's the backstory.

Several times last week he told mie he needed to do schoolwork and write a note to his teacher. I would have obliged, but he always asked mie at quite inopportune times - like at the grocery store, the movies, or the park. Finally I indulged him:

Mie: Logie - what do you want to tell your teacher in this note?
L: I want to tell her "I will stop smart talking". The end.
Mie: (Heart bursting...) Ok Logie - we'll find some time for you today to write a note to your teacher.

When it was done it said:

Dear Ms. XXXX
I will keep my hands off my school friends and I will stop smart talking.

In big crazy kindergarten letters on lined paper with "broken lines" that I wrote because I couldn't find a kinder-lined notebook at the store. Way too cute. He gave it too his teacher this morning - I made a point to stay while she read it and let her know that it was entirely his idea. I just helped him with the spelling.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Over the weekend and as 9/11 approached we talked in bite-size chunks about what had happened. I felt it was important for him to understand the significance of the day in a way that wouldn't steal his innocent joy. On the way to school this morning we were talking about the events that happened again after seeing another flag tribute at the local school. After talking a bit about the 4 planes, the buildings that were hit, and the people who lost their lives...

Mie: The bad men who were on the plane believed that god wanted them to do it.
L: THAT's NOT TRUE!
Mie: What's not true - that the men believed it or that God said that?
L: That God said it.
Mie: That's right Logie - how do you know that?
L: Because God wouldn't say that!
Mie: That's right Logie! God loves us and His people and it's one of His commandments that we should not murder.
 Then we went on to have a good conversation about how we can know God's truth by knowing what God's Word says and comparing it when we "think" we hear from God. It was a great teachable moment that I'm so grateful for.

Say What (!?!) Sunday - You're going to be what?

Costco has their Halloween costumes out now and we typically enjoy buying costumes there because they are decent quality for a good price.  In fact, we typically buy a few different costumes during Halloween season and let the kids (ok really, Logan) have a few costumes for pretend play.  The only challenge with our plan is that you have to buy early - they only get so many costumes and when they're gone they're gone.  Case-in-point, my husband went last week alone while we were on the road and saw Captain America costumes.  This week there were no more left and only the medium size (rather than small) of the one our son wanted.  We bought it anyway.  It's not his first costume that's too big (and therefore can last a few years...).

I took my nephews (and niece) to the park and on the way home was telling them about the kids costume choices.  My nephews are now into the "double-digit" ages, so I asked them, particularly the older one "so are you too cool to trick-or-treat now?"

Both immediately replied that they will be going and dressing up.

E (10) - I'm going to be a ninja

at the same time M (11.5) said something I couldn't quite make out.  A car can be noisy with 7 kids in it.

Mie - You're going to be a camel?

M - No, a CAMO guy.

Immediately I realized what he was talking about.  I think he's been a camo guy for a few years now...you know, a military type guy.

Then I fell out laughing.  I think I even snorted.  A camel!  What a sight.

Now you have insight into my humor.  I'm a bit strange.  I thought that was hilarious; not only the sight of a camel costume on my almost-twelve-year-old nephew but the fact that I heard camel instead of CAMO.  Apparently I need to get out more. 

Or not, I thoroughly enjoyed the laughter.

And for your entertainment "AWW-factor" pleasure:

As I put my son to bed last night he was talking to mie in his very tired stupor. Out of the blue...

L: Mom, it doesn't matter.
Mie: What doesn't matter Logie?
L: Anything.  Nothing matters.
Mie: No Logie - everything matters.  You matter very much to me.  You are very important.
L: What does that mean?  (Meaning - what does "matters" mean)
Mie: When something matters, it is very important.
L: Mom, you matter to me.

He then cutely went on to help me understand that when he said I mattered, he did so because he thought I was important to him.  All of you who are here struggling with non-sleeping babies or toddlers or kiddos who vomit or other behavioral challenges - hang in there.  These little moments make it ALL worth it.

Say What (!?!) Sunday

Recently, we've had a lot of gems coming from #7.  That boy just keeps us guessing and definitely keeps us working hard - phew!  Of the 4 he definitely keeps us on our toes but whenever we stop to try and consider what he's saying rather than getting frustrated we can choose to see the humor in it. 

Before I get into some of those though - let me give you one from our son L:

Foster Child

Mie: You know Logie, mommy is a tummy mommy AND a foster mommy. Daddy is a foster daddy and a tummy daddy.
L: Yes, and I want to be a foster child.
Mie: Well Logie, you're not a foster child - that would mean that you'd have to go live with someone else.
L: No mom, we just don't have to tell anyone that I'm a foster child, then I don't have to live somewhere else.
Mie: I see. Why do you want to be a foster child?
L: Because you're a foster mom and dad's a foster dad so I want to be a foster child. Just forget it mom. I'll be fine the way I am.
Mie: No Logie, I want to understand - what is it that makes you want to be a foster child?
We then had a long drawn out emotional tantrum about not wanting to talk about it anymore, etc..  Finally it came out - he wanted to be a foster "something" like we were foster mom and foster dad.
Mie: Ok Logie - how about being a foster brother?
L: Yeah, that will work and he was happy once again.

#7-Starbucks
#7 - Mom - what are you getting me?
Mie: Nothing.
#7: Mom - are you getting me a drink?
Mie: No.
#7: Did you say yes?
Mie: No.
#7: But I want a chocolate chai!  (he usually asks for a strawberry chai...I've never given him something from starbucks...)
Mie: No, I'm getting Auntie K a coffee.
#7: What are you getting me?
Mie: Nothing.
#7: Is auntie K going to cough?
Mie: No sweetheart, she's not going to caugh I'm getting her a coffee.
#7: Is she going to cover her mouth?
Mie: What are you talking about?  I'm getting her a coffee.
#7: Are you going to say "God Bless you"? 
Mie: #7, it's time to play the quiet game (before mommy screams....)

#7 - On Living arrangements

I'm going to tell you this more as a story.  #7 is the oldest placement we've had.  He's also the one who's been able to verbally express the struggle he's going through the most.  So, we end up having a lot of conversations about things related to foster care and his life - usually at night when he's going to bed.  My husband (when he's home) often wonders what's taking me so long...it's all because I'm answering questions and having conversations about whether he lives with us or his tummy mommy and daddy, when his next visit will be, and how long he will live with us.  He finally understands that he lives with us right now but he used to live with his mommy and daddy. 

His attorney came to visit this week.

A: #7 - what do you think about (tummy mommy)?
#7 shrugged his shoulders
A: #7 - if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live.
#7: Here.
A: Ah, you like living here?  What do you like about living here?
#7: The bus
A: The bus?
#7: Yep. 
A: Would you like to go back and live with tummy mommy?
#7: No, I want to live here.  They live at the visit.

The attorney asked a few more times...he stuck with his story of living with us which I thought was a bit odd of him.  I suggested he ask about his last name, because I thought he might do his usual proud proclamation that he was X, X.

A: So #7, are you First Name, Last Name?
#7: NO!  I'm First Name, G Last Name!
Mie: No Ben, remember that your last name is XX, and our last name is GXX. 
#7: NO! My last name is GXX and I live here!!

Not the answer I expected.  Eek. Though I should have known better, I made one more suggestion, to talk about #7's bio dad, who is different from his mom's husband, also someone he calls dad.

A: #7, Tell me about daddy C.  Do you like daddy C.
#7: No.  (I quickly closed my eyes and hung my head a bit - that wasn't where I was expecting this to go).
A: Are you afraid of daddy C?
#7: No.
Mie: #7 - you like to visit daddy C.  Don't you want to see daddy C?
#7: No!  I want to live here!

He used to be so proud of his given name, so we frequently have called him by his given name.  It's a good strong name, kind of like saying John Smith.  A few nights ago I said "Goodnight John Smith".  He quickly corrected me.  NO!  I'm John G! (of course with the right words filled in).

Eek.  Say What (!?!)