Moolah Monday - Our Disagreement about School Supplies

Happy Monday everyone!

This post brought to you by the upcoming school year which has 3 of our kiddos returning to a formal education program and one additional beginning a formal Pre-K program this year.

(In case you were wondering, we are currently a public school family with 4 kids in 3 different schools in our local district.  2 of them are in the gifted & talented magnet school, one at the "local" school, and one at a school pretty much as far away as she can get because there are more Pre-K programs "over there" vs. near us, and it's near daycare.  If you count daycare we have 6 kids in 4 schools.  Nice.)

I spent a significant amount of time and money this weekend shopping for back-to-school.  I try to spend 1x1 time with each kiddo for BTS shopping taking one out at a time.  It's easier that way but it's also a good quality time opportunity if I could swing it.  This year I did the shopping in 2 trips with the 2 oldest (separately).

I tried to shop extremely frugally, like I always do.  To begin, we had $350 per foster child to spend before adoption day toward clothes ($1400 total).    We had 5% coupons from the Target prescription rewards program.  I have the Target red card debit card (links to my checking account) for another 5%.  Plus, it was tax-free weekend here locally so I saved a little more than 8% there.    Add to that my bend toward being cheap and never paying full-price and I saved a boatload.  So, for $1400 I was able to receive about another $250 in "free" clothes and shoes.

I actually found it hard to spend some of this money because I have SO MANY clothes in most sizes already from the years we've been fostering.  I ended up buying clothes for the next few sizes up for some of the kids and for Baby Baby, who I have the most clothes for, I mostly spent that money on shoes.  (He's in size 7 now and is set on new shoes until size 12).  Our kids wear the fire out of their shoes so this will come in really handy in the upcoming years as we lose foster-care support for our forever kids.  (It's also cool in case we come across someone in need).

I only have one or two things left per child to purchase on our own, the biggest of which is lunchboxes and backpacks.  As I brought this up to my husband I was met with a significant amount of resistance.  He was hungry, which might have been part of it, but in general we are on completely opposite sides of this debate.  Though I'll try to be submissive here and I'm not trying to air out our dirty laundry, it did make mie wonder what my audience here did about backpacks.

Hubby's position - With 6 kids new backpacks and lunchboxes each year seems ridiculous.  It's money we can save. Why buy new ones when there are perfectly good ones all over the house.  They should learn to take care of the ones they have.

My position - Buying new backpacks and lunchboxes is an exciting part of getting ready to go back to school.  Getting to pick out a new backpack helps the kids feel excited about their upcoming year.  There's nothing like getting all your school supplies ready in your new bag, laying out your (new) outfit for your first day of school, and getting pumped up for what's to come.  It's a relatively inexpensive way to signal transition from old school year and summer to the new one.  Remember, I'm frugal as it is so $40 (or more! jeesh) backpacks aren't even on the consideration list.  It gives them a chance to pick a "more mature" backpack than they did last year if they wish.  Plus, it's what we've always done and we've had conversations with the kids in the last year about waiting until the new year to get a new backpack (with wheels, for one kid, not superman, for another).

One additional piece of the discussion was related to backpacks wearing out.
Mie: Backpacks wear out.  They need to be replaced.
Hubby: Then we'll replace them when they wear out.
Mie: But then the kid who didn't take care of theirs will get a new one after they weren't careful with it because they were throwing it around or whatever (or they damaged it or lost it on purpose because they wanted a new one and wanted to game the system) and the kid who took great care of it like they were supposed to won't ever get a new one.  That's not rewarding the behavior we want.
Hubby: Then we'll buy a new one for the kid that took great care of theirs and the kid who didn't can get their sibling's used backpack.
Mie: But then the kid who didn't take care of it will always have a handicap...they'll never get a new one because they'll always have an old one that will naturally wear out earlier.

(Here's the thing...we have two strong-willed challenging kids that will fall into the "damaged backpack due to lack of care or other more deviant choices" group and two that will fall into the "take care of their backpack and already resenting the deviant choice group for screwing up so many of the good things they could have with their crazy behavior".  Adding to or distracting from this dynamic is critical in our family).

So - where we ended last night was to let the kids pick a new backpack and lunchbox this year (because we already told them we would) and then we'll tell them it has to last them 2 years before they get a new one.

Or

As an alternative I suggested we implement a reward system for not mindlessly buying a new one.  We can offer them a new backpack (with limits...they can't spend over a certain amount) OR they can keep the one they have and get $5.  They can choose to live with what they have to save money (which literally gives them money to save and is cheaper than us buying new bags) or they can choose to have a new bag.  Then they'll have the choice again next year.

All of this, of course, is dependent on our financial ability to make these choices - if we absolutely don't have the money then of course we don't NEED to buy anything, we can make do with what we have.  In my mind that changes the game and in hubby's mind we need to be thinking that way now.

What do you all think?  How do you handle this in your homes?

Moolah Monday - Back-to-School Clothes

Howdy!

As I welcome myself back from a 10-day vacation (actual, not just from blog-land) I find myself struggling to write a little bit.  I have so much to say about our case and yet I'm continually reminded (on the inside) to be cautious about what I share in this case.  Maybe it's that there really isn't much to share.  So ambivalent this case is...

As I welcome myself back I also find myself catching up from all the stuff not done while I was gone on vacation and now I'm staring straight down the barrel of back-to-school preparation on top of normal life.  All the way home (we drove for 2 days each way) I thought about how I couldn't wait to get home and get busy cleaning and organizing and doing all the stuff that's needed to be done.  I was excited about it.  Now that I'm home I just want to take a nap.

We will have 3 kids in public school starting in a few weeks.  Logan goes to a magnet school for gifted children.  He will continue there this year (YAY! - love that school) but his newest siblings are not allowed in.  Our district is crazy as far as placement rules go.  Seriously.  Anywho...I was "lucky" (no joke) to get my two oldest foster children into the neighborhood school, together. 

This neighborhood school requires standardized dress, which is basically uniforms with more variety.  These two children have not had a school with standardized dress before so it's time for me to buy them new clothes.  Logan's school does not have to wear the uniforms but still needs bigger clothes.  Baby Baby is quickly becoming not-so-babyish and needs 9 month clothes.  The little girls (including Summer) do not need new clothes right now but will feel left out if they don't get at least something.  Oy.  Clothing 6 kids for back-to-school is expensive.

I decided to take them one-at-a-time, in part because I need to in order to keep my sanity and in part because I wanted to make it a special trip for each of them.  They don't get that much 1x1 time with mommy on a regular basis so I wanted to see if I could make this fun and memorable.  Boy am I glad I was able to pull it off, at least with one so far.  My oldest foster was first to go.  She was excited for many reasons and I could tell it was special for her too.  After we picked out a few items I suggested we go try them on.  Her response "Oh, like in the bathroom?". 

Mie "Sweetheart, have you never been to a store before that has fitting rooms to try on your clothes before you buy them?"

No.  She had not.  She had no concept of fitting rooms and was in awe as we went back to try things on.  I made a big point to tell her how beautiful she was as she tried on her outfits.  We bought many, many items AND to top it off the man at the counter was inspired to let us have 15% off, just because.  The grand total for her clothes, not counting "winter wear", was $209.  In reality that isn't bad but if I multiply that by 6 - Yikes!  Not counting winter clothes?  Yikes. 

Truth-be-told, I will not be spending $1300 on clothes for my kids this month.  I spent $65 on Baby Baby's 9 month wardrobe immediately after dropping the $209 on uniforms for miss beautiful.  That took care of him.  Though I'll pick something up for the little kids I will buy them one or two things, not a ton - I have a ton of clothes in their sizes already.  Logan will need a sizeable amount of clothes - I never really bought him a 6 year old wardrobe only 5 and made due with what we had with minor supplements so he's really due for a good refresh.  That being said I'm collecting the Kohls cash I earned from buying clothes for the other kiddos to help fund his purchases.  The last little boy already has some uniform clothes from when Logan was in private K - I'll start with some but will need a good amount more.

In addition, I've come to learn that several nearby counties offer some sort of clothing reimbursement for foster children.  The county these children are from offers $300 per year or $1200 for the group.  In order to qualify I have to submit individual receipts (one per child with nothing but the reimbursable items on it) to the local county board and wait to be reimbursed by check.  I clearly cannot use it to fund Logan or Summer's wardrobe but it will go a long way to getting these kiddos new clothes AND getting them some quality time with mommy.

I'm really looking forward to these shopping trips.  Next up - school supplies!

Moolah Monday - Daycare Update

I wanted to share with you the good news I received a few weeks ago regarding daycare funding and foster care.  This is good news for those it affects so stay tuned...

A while back I told you about how daycare funding works for foster children in my state.  I'm not going to rehash it all now so if you're interested in the nuts and bolts of it all, go here to check out that original post.  At that time I had some misinformation that I want to clear up.

When we went through licensing and up until 3 weeks ago we were told that daycare funding is provided for working foster parents who have children up through Kindergarten - in other words infants through preschool.  This always worked for us because we have preschool or younger children.  Even when we had our first school-aged foster child last spring we didn't have to worry about childcare because he attended school during the day and then was bussed home where my hubby could meet him after school.  It all worked out easy-peasy.  When we accepted the baby's siblings we knew it came with the commitment to provide one school-aged child with childcare over the summer.  Add that to our two forever kids and I'm now paying $485 per week for childcare, not to mention the initial few weeks of childcare I'm responsible for with the two littler kids as their childcare is setup (so far I'm in for an additional $350 per week for 3 weeks, I believe).  Anyway, childcare is getting expensive.

I've always been under the belief that if I'm going to pay for the school out of pocket then I am going to pick the school I want to pick.  In order to receive daycare funding you need to select a childcare center that accepts childcare funding and those are few and far between, especially if you only count schools that are of an acceptable quality.  Unfortunately many are subpar in my opinion.  The school I send my littles to is GREAT, but I decided if I'm going to pay for my newest school-aged child then she is going to go into the summer program for school-aged children with Logan.  I wasn't going to receive funding anyway so she could have the cool experience they were going to have.  It would also get her away from the other kids school so she didn't have to worry about her siblings or being the natural mom to them - she could just be another kiddo.  It's worked really well so far except for visits interfering with the field trips planned at the school.  This school, by the way, does not accept daycare funding from the state.  When you do you must sign an agreement to take any child that comes to the school with the funding as long as they obey the rules like every other child.  The daycare owners don't want "that type" of client in their school (they aren't the only ones - you should see some of the posted rules in medicaid doctor facilities...it's shocking they feel the need to post rules like "if you are rude to the staff we may refuse the right to provide you service" because some parents are that rude...jeesh).  That leaves me in a pickle needing to go to two different daycare facilities.

Our family has a new licensing worker.  As she setup daycare for the kids lo-and-behold we find out daycare IS provided for school-aged children as long as the funding is available.  She tried to setup our #21 with school funding.  Unfortunately, because I set her up at the school with my forevers, we cannot receive daycare funding.  I could switch her to another school but I really don't want to do that for her sake - she's having so much fun there and building friendships and enjoys hanging with Logan.  SO, I'm out-of-luck.  But YOU, if you're in the state of Texas with school-aged children and you need childcare, you may be able to get your daycare paid for.  It would only save me about $180 per week, but that's a good chunk of change to save. :)

Moolah Monday - Vacation Planning Tips: Looking for Deals

This weekend I shredded some of those credit card check thingies that seem to come to our home in over-abundance. I’m always shredding them it seems. Yesterday, it was about 6 separate sets of them. As I did, the verbiage on one of them caught my eye. It talked about using the checks for all those unexpected things...car repairs, home repairs, travel...

 

No joke...travel was in that list and I thought how is travel possibly unexpected? I suppose there are times that you travel that you didn’t expect well in advance like we did when my dad was in a motorcycle accident and the outcome was uncertain or when my Uncle was murdered and we attended his services. But even then it’s not like I suddenly woke and found myself driving or flying somewhere thinking hmmm...how did I get on this journey – this drive is so unexpected? (and so forth...). I don’t know – the wording just struck mie wrong.

 

Bottom line – you don’t have to go into debt to travel and/or vacation. There are ways to plan to keep yourself from burying a hole that forces you to work even harder for the next year It may very well be difficult but the rewards are worth it.

 

I’ll leave that lesson to Small Town Joy because as I told you last week she’s the best at it. I do want to add a few tricks to her process that we use to help us plan.

 

We’ve picked up taking an annual vacation to visit Sea World in San Antonio. It’s a place we can drive to reasonably and we have SO much fun. So far we’ve been a family of 6 with 4 kids making the trip a challenge physically (trying to keep them all alive, you know), and financially. Here’s how we’ve done it:

 

• Research ahead of time to find the best deal – In our case, we found a local hotel that offered several things free when you stayed with them. When you purchased one room they added in gift bags for the kids when they arrived, free breakfast for 4 (normally like $20 per person), one free dinner, and free annual passes to Sea World. The price difference from a regular room was minimal (maybe $20) and more than paid for itself. We had to stay down there anyway and though we could have looked around for a cheaper motel or stayed with friends the price of the deal made it worth it. In other words – if we hadn’t stayed at that hotel with that deal we would have had to pay the same amount to get into the park for the day and wouldn’t have had the added bonus of free breakfast, goody bags, the hotel pool and accomodations, etc. We might as well have stayed in the hotel! I want to say we paid $150 or so per night, and we stay 3 nights.
• Consider the annual pass – Our annual pass came with our hotel but it made a huge difference! If you don’t find a deal like the one we found, look into it on your own. Many parks have some sort of season or annual pass that is the same price or only slightly more than the pass you would buy for a day. We used that to visit the park two days in a row. Most of the theme parks I’ve been to can certainly be an entertainment option for multiple days on the same vacation and Sea World San Antonio is no exception. Rather than attend multiple parks or tour multiple areas, we just camped out at Sea World for a couple days, seeing the shows, playing in the water park, and riding rides.
• Re-use the annual pass – if you do find a park you want to visit that has a reasonably priced annual pass (or free, like the one we found with our hotel room) pay attention to the time period it is good for. Our annual pass was good for a full 12 months from the time we purchased it. SO because we liked our trip so much we decided to vacation there again the following year. We just made sure to go back before our passes expired and as the dates went we were able to return about 4 weeks before they expired. This means through our planning and research we were able to visit Sea World on 4 different dates with 6 people without paying for a single pass. If you add up the hotel rooms for both years we ended up paying approximately $900 plus fuel, food, and bonus stuff (souvenirs, etc.). That’s $450 per year for a 4 day vacation for a family of 6 or $75 per person, including hotel and theme park admission. I’d say that’s pretty good.
• Determine what you’d splurge on, then do more research – Because our price for the vacation(s) to this point was pretty low, we decided to do a few more things to make our trip easier/more special/more cost-effective. For example, Sea World had a wristband program both years where you were able to pay an extra $40 dollars or so, which gave you the ability to go to the front of the line on several rides. We took advantage of that (for our kids who were old/big enough). This meant that it made our lives MUCH easier being able to take our bigger kids straight to the front of the line, quickly getting to ride the ride they wanted, without the other parent having to try to somehow entertain the littles (toddlers) in 100+ degree heat for however long it took to stand in the traditional line (usually they said 60-90 minutes!). That extra $150 or so for our family was definitely worth it. The second year we researched a bit on the cabanas they had available. For about $200 we purchased a cabana rental that included those wristbands, a cabana with a stocked fridge, towels (to keep), shade, a fan, (a place for the toddlers to nap!), dinner or lunch (2 pizzas and drinks), ice creams, sunscreen, and a private character visit to the cabanas for pictures and hugs. If you do the math, all of that “extra” stuff cost us $50 which was far less than those items would have been on their own (seriously – it provided for 2 meals for a family of 6 at a theme park – that itself is usually way more than $50). And, since we didn’t pay for the theme park tickets themselves, it seemed very much worth it to us to “splurge” there.

I will caution you to be careful with the “deals”. Not everything is a fantastic deal. For example – if we would have purchased the wristbands for all of our children automatically it would have been a waste – the wristbands were only good on some rides and my kids under 36” wouldn’t have been able to ride anything with them. Food plans can be a good deal but again you may not want to purchase for little kids or you may want to bring PB&J to cut the costs even more. As you do your research, really think about how much you can afford to spend and what would work for YOUR family.

 

I did spend an evening (several hours) researching the park website, hotel websites, travel websites, etc. to be able to find these deals, so you do have to factor that in but again if you look at the total cost we paid (about $800 total, per vacation, including the splurges), it was well worth it.

 

(This post was NOT sponsored - we just like Sea World THAT much).

Moolah Monday - Medicaid & Foster Care

Last week I spent 5 days in the hospital.  It was a great hospital designed for children.  In other words, I spent the nights in the hospital with child.  A very small child I tend to call Baby Baby.

(I almost broke down to cry when I typed that...I'm great in emergencies but afterward the spigot flows!)

It was hard.  It was very, very hard.  Hubby had to take 4 nights off work because someone had to stay with the other kids while I stayed in the hospital with the wee one.  I had to take 2 days off work (because somehow I thought it was a good idea to go into work after the first night in the hospital...).  I missed my kids' baseball games.  I got nearly no sleep.  Hubby did a great job but was tasked with taking care of the entire home-field all by himself.  A few friends jumped in to help with the kiddos and one with a meal, but it was hard.  Very, very hard.

Of course, not to go without mention, it was extremely hard to see Baby Baby like that.  Tubes and wires and miserableness.  Too hard.

Even though it was a major challenge on our family, now that he's ok I started to think how blessed we are.  Not only is everyone home and ok now though we had to worry about everything else we did not have to worry about finances.  At one point I thought - man - some people in here are thinking about copayments and coinsurance and no insurance.

I didn't once have to think about paying for the medical bill.

Foster children receive some form of government provided health care and while I'm generally not supportive of across the board "entitlements" as some people refer to them, medicaid (or some kind of medical care) for foster children is an extremely beneficial and necessary component.  We would not be able to foster (certainly not 20 kids so far!) if we had to worry about how to pay for their medical care in case of an emergency like this, especially given the history our kids face that tend to lead them to poorer health or required therapies or delayed preventative care.

Tomorrow I will write more about the tears I face today but I wanted to take the minute to raise awareness of foster care medicaid programs.  Look into them.  Support them.  Make sure your local providers accept medicaid designed for foster children even if they aren't willing to take medicaid for all (I don't blame them).  Advocate for these children who otherwise really have no other options.  I can't imagine what the bill is for the state for Baby Baby's healthcare but I'm so grateful to the citizens of Texas for stepping up and caring for him and others like him in his (many) hour(s) of need.

Moolah Monday - Tax Trouble

I finally did my taxes a few weeks ago.  I don't know what I was thinking on two fronts.  First, I must have been anxious about the results or how difficult it would be because I procrastinated longer than usual (and my hubby let mie).  Surprisingly, it was much easier than I expected once I got everything organized.  Second, why on Earth did I wait so long?  I knew this would be a problem.

As foster parents we're allowed to claim children as dependents if they were given into our care by court order, we provided for more than 50% of their expenses, and they were in our custody more than 6 months. We had 2 kiddos (#9 & #10) that qualified that way.  It's always a gamble in doing your taxes whether or not the current family will go ahead and claim the children regardless of whether or not they're legally allowed to and so it's always a good idea to jump right on your taxes as soon as you can if you plan to claim children who are or were in foster care.  Even though it is tax fraud to illegally claim someone as a dependent, families do it all the time and it's pretty annoying to get it corrected.

As a side note...gosh it seems like a long time since 9 & 10 were with us!

Sure enough, when I submitted my taxes electronically it immediately came back as rejected because social security numbers were used twice.  I tried to fix it that night but the software I use was being squirrelly, that or we have a much bigger problem on our hands.  The system is insisting that two of my 4 kids' SSNs have already been claimed.  This makes logical sense as someone must have claimed #9 and #10 (illegally of course).  The confusing thing at this point is that the software is insisting that I change the SSNs for Logan and Summer, not #9 & #10, as if THEY have already been claimed instead of the fosters.  As I said, the software is either being irritatingly squirrelly or worse, we have a bigger problem on our hands.

I'm told this situation is easy to correct.  Because our tax situation is somewhat complex with foster children, higher income, and rental property, I always purchase the extra service to deal with the IRS should they come back and audit (or have other issues).  Last year this worked out very well for us because the IRS rejected Summer as a dependent because she was adopted AND rejected her SSN because her adopted name didn't match the name on her SSN.  It was a complicated mess to sort out but in the end it worked well to have the agency folks run it down for us.

Here's hoping it's as easy to solve this time around.  I'm headed now to figure it out.

Moolah Monday - Our "Fair" Share

Greetings everyone and Happy Monday!

It is a happy Monday for mie in that this past weekend was super accomplished.  And by that I mean I did my taxes finally.  mostly.  And I went to sleep at 7:30pm on Friday night.  SWEET.

I just wanted to give you a glimpse into what taxes look like from where we sit.

I use Turbo Tax.  If you're not familiar with the tool, here's a brief overview.  It walks you through the process of filling out each of the categories related to taxes in a logical order, not necessarily the order the tax forms lead you through.  As someone who only stopped doing the paper tax forms in 2011 because I honestly LOVED filling out the paper, I can wholeheartedly tell you I love using Turbo Tax.  (This is in no way sponsored and there may be other great products out there...just my experience).  As you enter in information about your family and tax-related situation, you watch as the tax total changes, just like that.  It starts out at 0, but as you go you can directly see the impact of every entry you make into the tool.

The first thing it asks us is about our family situation and whether it has changed.  Here's where I got to delete two kiddos from my home, fix Summer's SSN, and add two new kiddos, #9 & #10 who left in July but made it long enough to claim them.  Easy enough.

I use home and business because we have a rental property so the next section is business-related.  It immediately added $6500ish to my total refund due because last year we had a rental property loss that we weren't able to take.  I went through the time-consuming process of adding up 2012 receipts, digging through paperwork, and even resigning up on my mortgage-company's website for that property and entered everything into the system.  As I did, the total refund grew to $11,000+.

The next section is about income.  I'm not going to share our specific income but I will tell you as a point of reference it is LESS than $250,000, what we kept hearing was the line for "wealthy" individuals during the last election cycle.  I feel we're wealthy because of what we have in Christ and how I know most of the under-developed world lives, but we're not wealthy by American standards; we're not out buying yachts or flying on private jets.  (We're not really flying on planes much as far as that goes...aside from our trip to Hawaii last year we haven't flown anywhere that I can remember since Logan was free...more than 4 years ago).

I entered in our income information, including taxes paid, an amount about DOUBLE what I made working full-time through college, just in case you were thinking we must not have paid taxes already.   Suddenly my tax refund of $11K+ turned into owing $1500.  Why?  Because yet again this year we're not able to take the rental property loss as deduction because our income is too high.

The next section had to do with personal deductions and credits, things like childcare credits, education credits, and itemized deductions.  I'll spare you the boring details but needless to say despite a lot of charitable giving (nearly the amount I earned working full-time through college), foster-care related donations, and several other related items our tax amount turned back into a refund far less than the original amount shown.  This took into account that several things that were mentioned as possible credits we were disqualified for because our income is too high.  As an example, the childcare credit (dependent care...) allows for up-to $3000 per child or $6000 total to be claimed, assuming you spent that much for your children.  We received $1200, despite the fact that we spent at least $6,000 in 2012 on foster care daycare alone, not to mention the childcare for our own 2 children.

Here's my point - that adds up to $15,000 in tax refund that we would have received if our income was slightly less, an amount someone else making slightly less would have received.  Having made slightly less, they would have also paid less in taxes to begin with, BTW.  Instead, we ended up paying an amount in taxes more than what some full-time workers earn in a year.

This is not meant to be a pity-party.  I'm not whining nor am I complaining.  I simply wanted to give one example of what it looks like to be a family working as hard as we are, giving as much as we are both financially and otherwise, when we do our taxes.  I don't think our perspective is well-voiced in the public forum and since this is mine, here it is.

Moolah Monday - Sequestration & Federal Budget Cuts

Shamefully, I've been largely ignorant of the sequestration talks recently.  Honestly I had avoided hearing anything about it until late last week when, at work, I spoke to a lawyer who was referencing possible impacts on court schedules.

This got mie thinking about how sequestration will affect foster care.  For those of us waiting for court dates, will we see longer waits?  What about out agencies?  Will they experience cuts?  Daycare funds?  Medicaid?  Foster care payments?  

Suddenly I'm intrigued - is this what is causing some of the craziness I've been seeing in the local counties recently?  Perhaps.

Before I continue further, it is important to note the difference between local, state, and federal budgets (spending) and therefore local, state, and federal programs.  For example, in our area foster care & adoption do not take place in federal courts but rather county ones.  It is important to know which agencies have funding from which areas to fully understand the impact to your specific programs of interest.  Of course, there is a trickle-down effect from federal funding to state to local jurisdictions, so cuts can be felt broadly even if they don't occur that way.

It is also important to note that I generally support federal spending cuts and my writing this is not a complaint but rather curiosity of resulting effects.  If I ruled the world I'd protect foster care and adoption completely from budget cuts but - well - you don't see mie ruling the world.

I then briefly heard a news story this morning about impacts to our Great State and one caught my attention more than others.  Approximately 4800 students would need to be cut from the head start programs.  I had (and still have) no idea how those cuts would be made and whether our children would be impacted.  For those of you not aware, head start is a program that is offered to 3 & 4 year olds (or younger, in early head start programs) to low-income families.  Most families/children would need to qualify to attend by proving need as they would to receive medicaid, WIC, or most other social services.  There are several qualifications for automatic acceptance to the free-tuition program including whether the child is currently or has ever been in foster care.  We don't currently use this program but it is nice to know it is there if we needed it, Summer included.

I did quick research this morning and thought I'd share what I found.  Happy reading :)

Child-welfare specific cuts - note, foster care payments are exempt from sequestration, for the most part.

General Information  - Medicaid & SNAP are exempt so they will not be seeing cuts.  WIC & HUD funds are subject to cuts.  

Exempt vs. Non-Exempt Details 

The last link brings clarity to the child care question, which is both exempt and non-exempt depending on the type of funding you're talking about.  Less than half of the funding is eligible for sequestration and only 8% of that funding would be cut in sequestration.  Many states have a match program which matches $ for $ depending on whether the state follows federal rules.  SO, about 2% of the annual child care budget would be cut for states with a match program or 4% for states without.  Additionally, many states set aid to foster children as a priority over other needs so foster children would theoretically get first-funding in those states.  

Given this information I'm much less concerned than I was originally when I read about the impact these cuts would have on foster care, foster children, and foster parents.  That being said, many, many of the services provided to families with children in care (transportation & housing vouchers, parenting classes, etc.) are at a higher risk of being cut and I wonder what impact this will have on reunification goals to begin with.  We shall see...

Moolah Monday - A GREAT Gift Idea

We were fortunate this year to have a big family Christmas.  Almost everyone from our immediate family came out for my graduation ceremony and we grabbed the opportunity to celebrate Christmas together a couple weeks early.  Super fun.  And a bit crazy.  But fun for sure.

At one point we sat around like I imagine most families do to open presents together.  As my husband, my sister and her husband, and I opened our gifts from my parents we each found an 8 1/2 x 11 sheet of printed paper with information on it about a really nice restaurant.  My parents decided to purchase a gift voucher for the four of us to go out to eat dinner together at this nice restaurant in town.  She'd done some research to find a nice restaurant and then went to TRAVELZOO to purchase a voucher worth $200 that included appetizers, dinner, and dessert for 4 people.  Then, as our gift, she gave each of us a copy of the voucher with our name on it (and some clothes).

Last night we all went out on a nice date to a fancy restaurant.  We all got dressed up, hired babysitters, and drove downtown at night for a kid-free evening.  (read: Someone else put my kids to bed!).  We all agreed that the restaurant was not our type of restaurant because we didn't know what half of the things on the menu were and there weren't kids running all over the place (um..no kids at all).  It was such a treat.  It wasn't somewhere we would have ever gone if we hadn't had a gift voucher.  We wouldn't have taken time like that as adults together except for the gift.  All of it just wouldn't have happened at all.

It ended with a great dessert and lots of laughter, at least some of which was at our experience eating at that restaurant, like when we convinced our husbands to feed each other and let us take a picture of it or when I took a large bite of steak butter because I thought it was cheese.  (Bleh!).

I came home to all kids in bed (not necesarily their own, but hey, beggars can't be choosers!) and it was quiet.  Lovely!!!

If you're looking for a gift for foster parents (or any parents) this was a super gift.  As far as I can tell my parents probably paid $25 per person for the gift and received an additional $25 per person as a promotional value.  That is a reasonable price in my book but I'd venture to guess they have other deals to match your price range.  It forced us to go out together for free for us and relatively inexpensive for the gift-giver for a night-out we wouldn't have taken on our own.  So next time you're looking for a gift-this might be a good option for you.

Thanks Mom & Dad!

(This post is entirely my opinion and not sponsored in any way).

Moolah Monday: Planning for Christmas Presents with Large Families

I know many of you may be finished with your Christmas shopping already but I wanted to share our method of planning for and shopping for gifts in our household.  Creating a plan is a good way to ensure you purchase all the gifts you intend to purchase while having visibility into how much you're spending compared to budget.

Our family gifts on Christmas morning (immediate family) includes a present from Santa, a present from mom, a present from dad, and then each of the siblings trade gifts.  Mom and dad usually give bigger gifts than Santa.  After those three gifts are opened, one sibling will give out the gifts from them to all of the other siblings.  So we'll say "ok Logan, it's your turn to give your gifts.  Kids these gifts are from Logan!" and in his case now that he's older he's had a hand in picking them out.  Even the babies or new fosters will have a chance to give "their" gifts out, whether or not are big enough to pick out their gifts to give or physically hand them out.  When we don't have foster brothers and sisters we'll include the dogs as givers, but for the last few years we've had foster brothers and sisters so we haven't worried about that.  Additionally Santa will fill stockings and we'll have a present to open on Christmas eve.

Currently we have 4 kiddos in our home or 6 total family members.  Even if you're not great at math you can tell that our system can become complicated to manage AND expensive without a plan.  We use a matrix graph like the one shown here (I've drawn this out for you - we usually draw it out too) to help plan and then guide our purchases.

You can use this in several ways.  Here's my process:

1) Use the pink shaded areas (giving to you from you) to keep track of presents you think might come from the jolly old fellow himself.  This keeps those presents on your list without making it obvious in case little eyes should happen upon the list (of course it could be obvious to those little eyes if they see the list then see what they received from Santa later, but still, it gives you a chance to come up with a plan if you need to).

2) First things, first.  Set your overall target budget.  How much are you wanting to spend on Christmas gifts.  Note - this needs to be less than your total if you have other people to buy for (grandparents, coworkers, nieces & nephews, etc.).  Don't stray from this total budget amount unless you know where that money is coming from (extra in your budget, savings, etc.)...

The next step you can choose to do either A or B first - whichever makes you happy or works better for you.  We do A first so that's what I'll start with.  HINT - Use pencil. You WILL need to make changes.

3A)  Using your childrens wish lists, write in the presents you want to purchase for them & the estimated price.  You'll notice from Dad to Logan there is a Meep online tablet.  This is a real wish for our son despite the fact that we bought him a Leap Pad last year.  (Also note that we don't usually spend that much on one person, except I just told you we bought a Leap Pad last year so maybe we do...this year we'll be giving the Leap Pad to Summer as a gift for her since it's fairly new & Logan would get the Meep.  Shhh...don't tell him.)  You may fill in all of the boxes with their wish lists this way.  

3B) Write in how much you'd like to spend in each box.  So, I might say that since #14 is so young I'd like to keep each gift between $5 and $10 and fill that in for each of his gifts in row "#14" across.  

4) When there is an estimated OR allotted amount in each box, add up the total for each row (and/or column, if you wish).  You should now have a target goal for each person (received if you're using the total column, given if you're using the total row). 

5) Add up the total columns (or rows).  If you're total is LESS than the grand total goal (bottom right box) then you can make adjustments by spending MORE on one or more person (or keep the difference in your budget!).  If you're total is MORE than the grand total goal then you need to make adjustments by reducing the amount spent on one or more person.  Repeat steps 3-5 until your total for each person matches the grand total you wish to spend.  Note - you may not fill in the exact item for each box - as long as you have a target amount you're fine. but I recommend at least having the type of item (book, socks, movie, etc.) so you're not running through the whole store trying to think of SOMETHING.

NOTE - in our family we don't particularly care whether one child received EXACTLY the same $$ amount of gifts as the other kids in our family or not.  They are different ages and like different things so the amount spent might be different.  The amount given might also be different at this point since we're funding all of the gifts BUT the total given for each person could be useful if you have older kids who are buying their own gifts (something I recommend, as a lesson in budgeting AND giving).  Not to mention they need to be grateful with what they received not comparing to what everyone else received.  In any case you might be interested in this total by person concept to make them match exactly or at least know how much you spent, if you care.

6) Shop for the "MUST HAVES" on your list. Using a colored pen or marker, cross off the gifts as you put them in the cart.  VERY IMPORTANT - cross out the target price and write down the ACTUAL price next to it in the same box.  For example, I might find a MEEP on sale for $100.  I'd cross off the $150 and write $100 next to it).  Don't estimate - write down what the price tag says (or sale price if it is on sale). 

If you're purchasing a gift that is MORE than what you had planned, you'll have to immediately figure out which present you're making the adjustment to.  For example, I might find a MEEP for $165 dollars, which is $15 more than I'd planned to spend on it.  In that case I might erase the $25 for each of the other kiddos and put $20 each instead - that helps me make up the $5.  Or, I decide I don't want to cut money from my other kids to buy this MEEP so I find a different item, go shopping for it somewhere else, etc.

7)  Once you pick-up the "must haves" on your list, you can use the same process as in #6 to buy all of the things you weren't particular about.  For us these are the gifts for the younger kiddos who don't care and we can spend less on, if needed.  Realistically, last year we had a 16-month old and a 2 year old who didn't really care what they opened!  So we ended up spending $5 or so on many of their gifts to be able to afford the bigger gifts for the others (Xbox Kinect, Leap Pad, etc.).  

TIP- I drew this matrix to take up the whole sheet so you could see it.  You could either draw it smaller (or do it electronically) so you have room on the sides to write down other gifts you want to purchase or use the back of the sheet so you can have that with you while shopping.  You'll notice I wrote down the PJs (Christmas eve gift) on the side - I should write an amount.

The thing I like the most about this system is that it helps mie stay organized and on-track without constantly having to think back as to whether or not I got kid #1 a gift from kid #2 already or not.  It's also helpful when I (or the hubby *wink*) decides last minute to purchase a gift that would be way higher than what we can afford or intended to spend - we can easily regroup about the gift situation and determine if we want to cut from other places, not buy that gift, or pull from savings.  We can look across the landscape of gifts we're buying each other and make sure we're incorporating the kids wishes without going broke.  I also love that it doesn't matter what your budget is - you might end up with lots of $1 store presents if that's what you can afford - you can make this system work for you.  You *could* start this process much earlier in the year (for your forever kids anyway) and keep track of their wishes through the year that you might want to get them so you can look for things on sale or at least start earlier than I will be.  If you have more kids, add more rows and columns.  If you have less kids, it works there too.  You can put mom and dad on the list, or not, it's up to what works for your family.

(BTW - I won't be shopping for most of these gifts until, oh, the weekend before Christmas because that's how I roll and that's when we'll receive the paycheck that we've planned to cover Christmas gifts.  But honestly that's the way I like to do it anyway...nothing like staying up every night before Christmas wrapping presents!  I'm serious).

Hope this has been helpful.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Moolah Monday - 2011 Tax Resolution

Finally we have resolution.

I think it was a day or two after we received the last notice that we noticed a large deposit into our bank account that was unexpected.  It was from the IRS.  Ta-Da!

It was a bit disconcerting though - it was only for $2400 or so - not the full $4300 that we were expecting.  Not having any documentation at that point we figured they had made some other calculation than we had and adjusted our final refund.  Frankly, we didn't care and were happy to have that amount and some closure.

A few days later we received not one but two letters in the mail (one to each of us) explaining that we were going to receive the $2400.  Each enveloped was stuffed with another envelope to be used for payment and instructions to make a payment, if we wished to do so.  If the government wanted to save money I could think of at least a few ways to do it starting with not sending envelopes for payment to people who have already received a refund through electronic payment, or, even better not sending 2 in seperately addressed mailings.  Just sayin'

The day we received the letter(s) from the IRS we received a phone call from the agency working on our audit on our behalf.  (during dinner).  They wanted to let us know they received the communication from the IRS about our refund (with payment envelopes perhaps?).  We confirmed we received it as well.  They said they'd found an error in the IRS calculations.

(You'd think after all this time spent auditing they would have it right by now).

We were correct after all and the agency took it upon themselves to notify the IRS (again) of the correct amount and the IRS at that point had committed to fixing it and giving us the full refund that was due to us, as submitted in March.

Last week we received another set of notices in the mail from the IRS (complete with payment envelopes...) that said they were making the correction.  I don't know if the money has hit our account yet - I haven't checked personally but I will.

That day we also received a note from someone affiliated with the IRS saying we would be asked to complete a survey on how well the IRS handled our audit.  A separate note to tell us another note would be coming....

I'll be watching for that.

Moolah Monday - Saving While Spending

I'm writing this post for 2 reasons.  I want to show you how I can hardly make a decision that doesn't at least strongly consider frugality.  Second, I want to give you some ideas on how to use math in your favor to be frugal and/or overcome frugality.

I'm going to give you some real numbers here and some of you are going to say WAIT!  That's not frugal - that's a lot of dough.  Others are going to say "I spend WAY more than that".  The amount isn't so much the point as is the mindset.  I remember learning early on in my life that there will always be more to buy and you will always be able to feel like you don't have enough, if you let it.  In other words - the more you make the more you spend.  To combat this - try thinking in percentages or hours worked.  In other words, if you bought lunch today, that may have cost $5.  If you make $5 an hour, that's worth 1 hour of work!  Or, if you make $40 per day, that's worth 12.5% of your daily gross income.  I use this technique with older kids who ask me for things as a way to explain to them how much things cost and the importance of understanding how wage works.  I use minimum wage as an example (and stress the importance of working hard to make more than minimum wage) and then explain that the (insert football, soda, etc.) that they want to buy would mean they'd have to work 2 hours (or whatever) to earn...it gives them another perspective.

(It gives us one too if we think about it that way).

So here are my two examples of how I think about frugality and work it into our spending plan.

Example 1 - Home Decoration


My home has 17 rooms.  I've lived in it for 2 years.  All of the rooms are the original beige from when it was built in 2005, except one, which was painted sage-ish green before we moved in.  Since then we've painted the kitchen (though not behind the refrigerator) and Summer's room.  Logan's room is partially painted (and has been for about a year).  That's it.  We more than doubled the sq. footage from our last home so we have several rooms that aren't "setup" at all - the office, the craft closet, the media room - and all the rest are just filled in with what we have.  I'm frugal.  According to our adoption homestudy our home is "practically decorated".  That it is.

Last night my hubby sent me to the store to buy decorations for the guest room downstairs seeing as how my mom will be visiting soon and it was looking pretty shabby.  We don't have any bedroom furniture sets in our house and this room is no exception.  When we began decorating last night it had the queen size futon my hubby's had since he was a teenager, a cheap desk from Walmart or Target my hubby bought for our old house, and Summer's nap-time pack n' play.  There were curtains left from the previous owner.  Basically it was ready for a makeover.

I'm a closet interior decorator.  I love to do it.  I'm bold with color.  I just don't get around to it much.  It takes patience.  It takes a babysitter (I just won't paint with my current set of kiddos around - too chaotic).  It takes money.

Anyway - I went shopping for 90 minutes to buy "a couple hundred dollars" of stuff to decorate.  My hubby was thinking wall decor but I knew we needed a new bedding set and curtains to really make a difference.  I shopped all of kohls.  I shopped all of Target.  (that's all that was open at 8:30pm on Sunday night).  I didn't find anything that struck me as the right quality for a low-low price.  I didn't find anything that gave me vision for the room when we were ready to paint.  I couldn't imagine buying new curtains and new bedding and wall decor and eventually new furniture.  But I wanted a relaxing escape that matched the rest of my house.  I did find two bedding sets that would work - one with a greenish hue and one with an orange/brown/burgandy/taupe color.

I decided on the orange/brown/burgandy/taupe set.  Why?  Because I knew if I bought that set I'd be able to reuse the decor from my old guest bedroom that happened to have been painted the same color orange.  I ended up buying the queen bedding set, 4 panels of curtains (one set of thermal), 4 new pillows, a new double rod curtain holder, and a wicker hamper for about $275 (including the 5% discount for using the Target debit card).  When I got home my hubby helped me fix the bed up, hang the curtains, position the hamper, and hang the mirror and 6 matching pictures that we'd already had sitting in a closet.  It still needs paint and one day a nice furniture set, but for today it is a beautifully decorated room.  I'm re-purposing the existing curtains and curtain rod to go into the dining room - the room that was painted sage green and the one I'd say is the most "done".

Example 2 - Sea World
Last weekend we vacationed in Sea World - we needed to get at least one more use of the annual pass we'd acquired through a hotel package that included free Sea World passes.  (Before I go further, yes I believe the hotel rate was inflated at least a little to accommodate the tickets).  In any case - last year we were able to go to Sea World 2x for "free" but I felt we needed to use them again to make it worth it.  So I found a buy 2 get one free hotel deal (at the same hotel as last year) so we could spend a couple more days at the park.

Entry to Sea World was "free" so we added a few extras.  We ate breakfast with the Sesame Street characters day 1.  Day 2 we rented a cabana.  This was the BEST DEAL EVER!  Here's how it worked:

For $199 you got the following:
-4 Sea World Towels ($40)
-1 bottle of sunscreen ($10)
-2 Large pizzas ($40)
-8 bottles of water ($16)
-8 bottles of soda ($16)
-8 bags of chips ($16)
-4 Ice Cream Bars ($10)
-4 Unlimited Quick Queue passes (jump to the front of the line on rides, all day) - ($140)
-Locker Rental (in the cabana, private locker with refrigerator and freezer) - $10

Of course with all that you also got all day use of the cabana which a great place to put our stuff, gave our kids a place to nap in the park, gave us a private place to eat where our kids could be crazy (or not), and had a ceiling fan.  We also had a private visit from the characters with plenty of time for interaction and pictures.  It was a special treat for the kids.  It was a huge blessing for us.

So, from my estimation with just the tangible items the cabana rental was worth $298 if we purchased things separately.  It was listed for $199.  We paid $160 - you got a 20% discount if you were an annual pass holder, which we were, because we got "free" tickets from our hotel room last year.

Yes, $160 is a lot of money and we could have really not spent anything.  That being said we learned last year that investing in the Quick Queue passes was a huge blessing for a family like ours because of the ages of our kids.  The ones big enough are not really patient enough to wait in lines but I do want them to learn they have to delay gratification.  The bigger help is for the parent staying off with the kiddos not big enough to ride who have to sit there in the stroller just waiting - if they had to do that for an hour or more waiting for their brother and sister to get off the ride it would really suck, especially because we go in the summer when it's really hot.  Either that or we would have to have one parent go off and do a "little kid thing" with the little kids and one go off and do the "big kid thing" with the big kids.  Our family spends enough time apart so it is worth it to us to spend the $140 and we'd planned on it, which meant it cost us $20 for everything else.  One meal for 6 could have easily cost $20 even if we'd brought it into the park or left it in our car so we could have a picnic.  We could have made the food they gave us last all day - due to a storm we chose to buy dinner and get out of the rain (which of course we could have done in the cabana too) - so that means everything else was "free".

That's how I look at it - I'll happily spend money on something, if I have it to spend, if I can see the value in the purchase.  Alternatively, I have a hard time spending money just to spend it or on luxuries like home decorating or cabana comfort.

Just a little glimpse into my head :)

Moolah Monday - 2011 Tax Update

I'm not sure I ever told you the conclusion of our tax story.

That of course would be at least in part because it is not finished yet :(  I was reminded of this oh - so -small fact last week when yet another set of IRS notices came in.

Thankfully these IRS notices were really just that - harmless notices.  I will, however, note that it was interesting the IRS so generously included an envelope in case I wanted to send them money.  Really.

I don't owe the IRS.  As it stands now, they owe me.  They would argue that they don't owe me anything until their audit is done at which point they will determine either that we are even (their preference, I'm sure) or they owe me.  They would owe me something to the tune of $4000 - give or take.  I haven't actually done the math to figure out what is still outstanding.

Despite our concern and the frenzy my initial posts caused on the subject - we actually were able to claim our qualifying foster children in 2011 without a problem, once we received their social security numbers after much, much effort.  This was surprising.  I was sure I'd face a challenge over claiming them as I fully expected mom & dad to claim them, especially since they went home last October and finished the year reunified.  That was my only concern and so if that didn't pose a problem I didn't expect there to be a problem.

I was wrong.

At some point we received a notice in the mail saying that our funds were going to be held pending review.  It said we'd get resolution in 6-8 weeks - or something like that.

The next day about 60% of our tax refund posted to our account.  This made absolutely no sense.  The amount retained didn't equate to the amount for the fosters.  I couldn't figure out the logic.  Eventually over the next two months we found our account was under review for the following:

• An ineligible dependent was claimed. (it didn't say which, but based on the amount could only have been one)
• Our adoption assistance credit was under review

These two things were seemingly unrelated and in a way, are.  Adoption assistance credits require the submission of documentation including the signed adoption decree and proof of adoption fees subject to the credit.  In our case our attorney was proactive enough to get us an additional adoption decree with the county seal before we left the courthouse just for this purpose.  A copy of his invoice marked paid was enough to prove eligible expenses.  As directed in the instructions I sent all of the documentation through paper mail when I sent in my tax return documents.  

Apparently - the IRS system for this is completely inept.  When I called to inquire on the troubles I waited on hold forever, then whoever answered almost immediately sent me to one department (which made no sense, they agreed), and eventually I gave up.  The person I spoke with told me that they were the audit department and that though my file was ready to be audited (not the traditional audit - just reviewed for the adoption stuff), the best way for me to handle it would be to send in the documents again to the address he provided me in NJ.  I repeated that it wasn't that easy to just go get an additional copy of the signed adoption decree with the seal from the county on a sealed adoption.  He insisted I could just make a copy without the seal.  I told him the IRS documents said it had to have the original seal.  He insisted he's done this forever and you don't need the seal.  I stopped arguing with him.  I told him I already sent in the documentation.  Per the instructions.  He said that it went to a filing place in CA and his group is in NJ.  It would be faster for me (and they expected me) to send in the documents to NJ rather than have them wait for them from CA.  I was literally banging my phone against my forehead.  I gave up on that route.  

I then remembered I'd paid for the audit protection service from Turbo Tax.  I figured - might as well try it.

While I was waiting for all that to go through we learned the dependent that was ineligible was our daughter - Summer.  I submitted her as a dependent given her legal name (remember the adoption decree and name change was in the documentation I'd submitted) with her old SSN.  Of course, that was her SSN, but I hadn't changed her name with social security yet (nor gotten a new number...).  So, when they compared the SSN with the last name they did not get a match and automatically removed her from our eligible dependents.

So, we don't have her as a dependent - that's about $3500.  We don't have the adoption credit - that's about $1800.  That was the amount removed from our tax return.  Both of these, independently, should be able to fix.  We resubmit our taxes with her old name or with her new number.  No problem.  We resubmit the adoption documents for their review, no problem.

Except the two interact with each other.  When they removed Summer as an eligible dependent she, of course, was no longer eligible for the adoption tax credit, or at least we weren't able to claim that.  So if they reviewed the documents from the adoption they'd see that she wasn't an eligible dependent and nix it right there.  If they didn't review the adoption documents they'd have no reason to believe that Summer was the same person we'd submitted as an eligible dependent with a different name on the SSN.  They couldn't look at one independently, they had to look at them together.

Except the audit review only included the adoption tax credit, not the eligible dependent, so they couldn't discuss the ineligible dependent problem.

See how freaking frustrating it is.  The solution is clear - add her back as an eligible dependent and give us the adoption tax credit.  Done.  Seriously it should take all of 5 minutes to review the documents we sent to see the name change and the seal on the documents.  Except it's not that easy.  Of course.

So back in late March or April we responded, through the audit protection people, our response to the IRS that should correct everything.  They said it would be 8-12 weeks for a response.  Last week we got a response that said they're not done reviewing the file and need another 45 days. 

*eyes rolling*

Thankfully we're not in desperate need of the cash and I know eventually it will all work out.  I have the right number now and can ammend our return if all of this doesn't come back in our favor.  But I have to keep reminding mie why we haven't paid off the debt we'd planned to pay and why our account is lower than I thought it would be at this point.  We'd planned on having that additional money and it just hasn't come in yet. 

That's ok - it will in time.  And if I've learned anything about God and HIS timing I know that there is probably something coming that we couldn't have planned where we'll need that money and if we'd had it already it would have been spent on something He didn't intend for us to spend it on.  I wonder what that will be.

So that's that.  Nearly 5 months after I began talking to you about our taxes we still haven't seen resolution.  And it had nothing to do with #7 & #8.

Moolah Monday - College Education

One of the biggest concerns people have about family size is the financial aspects.  It seems as if the two biggest concerns (for individuals with health insurance) is childcare and college tuition.  This is true whether the child in question is biologically related, adopted, or has some other connection to the family but it seems even more pressing an issue for people who are considering making the conscious choice of adding an additional member to their family through adoption.  The good news is that there are resources available (like adoption subsidy) to cover some expenses that could be applied to things like childcare to help ease the burden.  There are programs for children who are adopted from foster care to help cover college tuition as well, but before I get into that I have a few things to say about parental responsibility for college:

My parents paid for all but $5K of my undergraduate education at a private university.  I worked full-time and paid for many of my own expenses including books, transportation, insurance (auto & health), etc., but they paid for my housing either through my first year at the dorms or my other two years living at home.  Yes, that's only 3 years.  I finished in 3 years which saved about 20K.  I got married about 6 months after I graduated, which meant the rest of my schooling was on mie - I've paid about 60K for all of my graduate school, not including what has been reimbursed by my employer.  All-in-all, the cost of my education primarily in the 2000's has been about $120K, again, not including living expenses.

That's a lot of money.

I do not believe it is the parent's responsibility to provide college for the child.  I certainly don't believe that it is their obligation to provide Ivy League tuition and living for children.  College is neither a right nor an obligation in my mind.  You have to work to get in, you have to work to pay for it, and you have to work to get out - preferably in that order.  I was blessed that for the first 2 1/2 years my parents were able to send a monthly check to the school so that I didn't have to worry about the tuition check.  I chose to live at home (the second two years) so that I didn't have to pay the cost of an apartment near school because I didn't believe it was my parent's responsibility to pay for other housing.  I worked full-time because I didn't believe it was my parent's responsibility to pay for all the "extras" I wanted - regardless of whether or not they could afford it.

Something happened in my last semester of school, at which point I had stopped working full-time, which required mie to fork over my own school dough and I ended up taking a small student loan to cover the cost last minute.  I didn't sit back and whine about not being able to go to school or having a debt to pay.  I did worry about how I was going to come up with 5K in the middle of a semester, without notice, given a set of circumstances that made the FAFSA really complicated, and how as a result I would or would not be able to graduate on-time relative to what I had worked so hard to do.

All that said I was grateful for the support I received from my parents and as a parent I want to do whatever is possible to help my children go to college.  I do hope that they all have the opportunity to go to college and maybe even grad school if they so choose and I will do everything I can to support them in that endeavor, including financially supporting them if I possibly can.  That being said I do not believe the inability to pay for college tuition makes adoption an irresponsible decision.  I do not believe family size should be dictated by the number of children you can put through college (financially).  I think it should be something you think about but only as a consideration point so you are aware of how adoption will impact your family including other children in the home rather than a as a disqualification factor.

I hope we will find a way to save and pay for Logan's college tuition so that he doesn't have to worry about it.  Even if we can't, we'll encourage him to proceed through school with whatever help we can provide at the time knowing there's a lesson in persevering and, by the way, working through college won't kill you (I'm living proof).  That being said I don't know how many children we'd be able to save up for.  We discussed it with Summer, that it would be a stretch but we could like afford 2 college tuitions especially considering they are 3 years apart educationally, but how many more children we could afford realistically is definitely in question.

When we began pursuing foster care adoption we knew of a program here in Texas whereas any child deemed to have special needs (older than 6, minority over 2, sibling group, or true medical special need) would qualify to have in-state tuition covered as long as the program was in place at the time the adoption was finalized.  We knew this program could go away at some point but that it was in place at the current time (and, right now still is).  "Unfortunately", Summer was a 2 year old caucasian child with no medical special needs.  When her brother was placed for adoption elsewhere she was no longer member of a sibling group and therefore, in our eyes, did not qualify for the college tuition program as an adopted "special needs" child. Of course we proceeded with the adoption but knew our ability to support both children through college, or more children as they came, could be limited in the future, but that fact did not make us bad parents.  (Amen?)

At a foster parent's meeting last week we were surprised to learn of a different program federal government that provides college tuition waivers for children who were ever in foster care.  Our program in Texas requires that the student be in DFPS custody on or after:

• The day preceding the student's 18th birthday;
• The day of the student's 14th birthday, if the student was also eligible for adoption on or after that day;
• The day the student graduated from high school or received the equivalent of a high school diploma;
• The day the student was adopted if that date is on or after September 1, 2009
• The day permanent managing conservatorship of the student was grant to an individual other than the student's parent, if that date is on or after September 1, 2009 or
• If the student enrolls in a dual credit course or other course which a high-school student may earn joint high school and college credit, and is in conservatorship on the day of enrollment

The only requirement for eligible individuals is that they enroll before their 25th birthday.  (see the full program here).  I've highlighted the way Summer qualifies above.  I'm told the tuition waiver is available for all in-state tuition including some vocational schools and even extends to graduate and professional degree programs.  In other words, Summer could go through college to get her Ph.D. like her mommy, and have tuition covered.  Of course, not all of our children will go to college, many of us are just hoping to get them through high school, but having the financial aspect covered can go along way to encouraging our kids to succeed through higher education.  If we can say "You can do it!" all along and help them by removing the financial barrier then we have a better chance of motivating them to do all the other work that a college education requires.


I'm told the program is funded by a federal program, but I have yet to find that information.  It appears as if there are federal funds tied to foster care that are being directed to tuition waivers as mandated by state legislatures.  In plain language - check with your state for availability.


I didn't worry about college for Summer too much to this point and it certainly wouldn't have made us avoid adoption altogether, but it is wonderful to know that she does qualify for tuition waivers through the state as long as funds are still available at the time.  

Moolah Monday - Purpose of Wealth

I’ve seen a few blogs today that spurred mie to write on this subject.  Before reading more here, go check out SmallTown Joy, Farmgirl, and Wendy, each who’ve posted on a different aspect of financial responsibility in the Christian walk.  Though I’m definitely over-summarizing, one of the main themes through these posts is that though there may be benefit to aspects of financial peace as proposed by Dave Ramsey and his 7-step plan to building wealth, particularly living debt-free, there are reasons to question whether we should be pursuing the security of financial freedom at all.

I’m not here to teach you about Dave Ramsey’s plan or to argue with my fellow bloggers about the merits of the plan but I do want to respond with my perspective – it is Moolah Monday afterall.

If you get nothing more from this post, hear this – none of us should be worried about whether we are judged by our peers on how we handle money.  This is both a blessing and a curse.  If you’re sitting back today worrying about whether your parents or sister or neighbor or Dave Ramsey himself are going to approve of your spending habits – let it go.  You don’t owe any of us an explanation and you are not responsible to proving your financial responsibility to anyone.  Some of you face parents who scrutinize your every decision.  Some of you are wealthy and wonder if it’s ok.  Statistically many others are scraping by trying to keep up with the Joneses, so to speak, either with accumulation of stuff OR demonstration of financial prowess.  If you're concerned with any of this - let yourself experience the freedom from dropping it.

The flip-side is that you do need to be concerned about what God thinks.  He alone will be judging you.  In the end no one else’s opinion will matter, not even your own.  If you need an example, check out the Parable of the Three Servants – where money (often interpreted as talents) is given to various “servants” (us) by a “master” (God) with each servant having different results.  Those who turned their provisions into something more through investment of some sort were rewarded.  The one who hid his money as to save it for when the master returned was rebuked and punished.  The point?  We are all given a variety of life situations – maybe money, maybe talent, maybe opportunities – and these things are to be put to use in a way that is consistent with the master’s purposes for what was given.  We are not all given the same things in the same amounts.  The only thing we all get are time and chance and even those are dolled out in different measure but we are given the choice on how we will react with what we’ve been given.  

With this in mind, the question is not whether you have piles of cash or piles of debt and frankly isn’t the specific quantity of time or money you are giving or saving each month.  Here’s the real question – are you pursuing your will with (your stuff – money, talent, time) or are you pursuing God’s?  That is the only question that matters for money – for anything.

Let’s take things out of the financial context for a moment and into the other favorite topic around here – orphan care.  Many of us are judged incessantly for our efforts to help orphans.  We’re told by some we’re saints because we give “more than they can” to help children in need.  We’re told by some we’re crazy because we have a revolving door and/or we have large families.  If you’re like us at all, you’ve had the discussion in your household about how many kids you should take in and whether or not you should be continuing down this path.  These are good conversations to have, but should we get into the comparison game?  Probably not.  You’ve got folks like Dawn and Sophie with 9 kids each – should I feel “less-sacrificial” because I only have 4?  I know some people who “only” have a license for 1 or 2.  Does that mean they are not giving enough of their time and resources to help the Kingdom?  

None of us can answer that for each other.  Only God can answer that and hopefully when we’re having those family discussions THAT is the primary consideration – what does God want us to do?  Personally in our home we’ve opened up to as much as the state will allow for us at this time and so far we’ve ended up with 4.  Does that mean we’ll stay this way?  Who knows – I suspect we’ll end up maxed out with 6 at some point and maybe will move beyond that – I have no idea what the future holds but the point is not to be focused on where we will end up but on being open to what God may bring our way – and seeking that out on a continual basis.

Isn’t that the same with financial resources?  Some of us have more, some of us have less.  Some of us are seen as financially wise for piling up cash, others see that as excessive hoarding of resources that could be used to further the Kingdom (or, in lay-terms helping feed the poor, take care of orphans & widows, etc.).  The truth is, none of us can look at each other’s financial situation and determine whether or not someone is living according to God’s financial will purely by looking at someone’s personal balance sheet.  Noah stored up resources in the form of building an ark that He was called to build – I’m purely speculating here but I’m sure there were some who wondered if his efforts and those materials could not have been better served by caring for the poor around him.  Alternatively, those wondering in the desert were “punished” for collecting extra manna – I’m sure they could have collected extra and distributed to those who didn’t collect enough, if they’d been allowed.  So who was right?  Noah for storing up or the Israelites for only taking their daily bread?  I’m hoping by now the point is obvious – we are “right” when it comes to finances when we are wholly and completely seeking God’s will for the resources we’ve been given.

I’m especially sensitive to this issue because at the current moment God has pushed us in the direction of having more financial resources rather than less.  We own two homes.  We could purchase more.  We could purchase luxury cars.  We could live in a shack in a bad part of town (we don’t) and either save or give thousands of dollars every month to the poor.  We have a lot of financial options and with that we have to be responsible (meaning prayerful & wise) about what GOD wants us to do with the resources He’s given us.  We’ve bought a larger home at least in part to accommodate more children – children we believe we’ll be adopting rather than birthing or temporarily providing a home for through foster care.  Do we have to have a larger home?  No, but with the larger home we know we need to be using it for God’s purposes, not our own – which means it’s not for our enjoyment (though we’re blessed with the ability to enjoy it) and we need to be open to how God might use it in the future.  We have a 2011 minivan we bought new in 2010.  Should we have spent $40K on a new minivan when a used reliable one would have cost much less?  Maybe.  We often get into the conversation around our house about luxury sports cars – will we ever have “enough” money to justify spending 150K on a car?  I can’t imagine spending that kind of money on a car no matter how much money I had in the bank when I could be using that money to give to others in need but far be it from me to say that God wouldn’t use a fancy schmancy sports car worth that much money for His will.  Living debt-free seems to be a valid principle too – though maybe there are times where God calls us to go into debt for something?  Far be it for mie to say that He wouldn’t do that.  I can say I certainly understand the burden of the “slave” much better than I would have otherwise having been slave to creditors.

So what is the right amount of money to have in the bank?  What is the right income?  What is the right amount to give away and what is the right level of sacrifice?  We should sacrifice all as if it belongs to Christ himself – he gave his life far be it from Mie to sacrifice any less – to Him all belongs and if He provides mie with resources, financial or otherwise, far be it from any one else to tell mie what I should or should not be doing with them less I fall trap to losing sight of His will by turning my eyes to those around Mie.  I have no idea what my financial future holds – daily I will walk with Christ and as I take each step I’ll get to see the outcome of His plans.  I may die with billions in the bank – to be passed on to my children who are supposed to setup funds to provide for the needs of millions of God’s people – I may die alone in the desert, having lost everything and wandering for my next morsel of food or water.  I don’t know what will happen in the future – what I know is that today he has given mie a particular resource and I will seek to use that resource for His glory today.  Tomorrow I will do the same and and the next day and the next ending only when He gives Mie no more tomorrows.

Moolah Monday - Weekend Catch-up and a Stolen Identity

Welcome new friends!  I love guest blogging from time-to-time so I can say hello to new friends. 

I’m going to rant a bit today.  Is that ok?  Do you all want to hear my tales of the weekend? 

Yes? 

(That’s what I heard you say…)

Alrighty – so this weekend I worked hard.  I was rudely apologetically awakened from a blissful sleep by my hubby letting mie know our schedule for the day was now changed and now, in addition to what I had planned for the morning routine I had to add driving 40 minutes round-trip to get my son’s baseball gear from hubby’s car because somehow it ended up there instead of with mie in my car, so I better get up now.  He was right – I now had 2 ½ hours to:

• Wake-up & get myself ready
• Get the 3 littles up and ready (remember they are 1, 2, and 3); Logan was with his auntie for cousin time.
• Get the littles & 2 dogs in the mini-van
• Drive to drop the dogs off at the new groomer – which means I also had to bring their shot records and fill out all the paperwork

Pause – have you ever tried to bring a 1, 2, & 3 year old into the groomer with 2 60lb dogs?  About that – pet stores don’t seem to have multi-kid carts and even if they did pushing a full one AND holding the leash for 120 pounds worth of excitable dog is a bit much.  But I survived.

• Drive for 20-25 minutes to get baseball gear out of hubby’s car.
• Drive for 20-25 minutes back to the hometown baseball park for Logan’s game.  Auntie was taking care of making sure he’d get there on time – but I had his glove, helmet, and bat, and he’s a lefty, so it didn’t really help much to have him there without that stuff.

Did you see breakfast in there?  No?  Yeah that’s because I forgot breakfast.  Kids don’t really let you forget breakfast.  So I stopped at Chick-Fil-A on the way back from hubby’s car.

When I got to the window to pay I had about 13 minutes before Logan’s game started.  It was nearly 10 am and my 3 littles hadn’t had breakfast yet.  You could imagine the chaos, though at least the dogs were out of the car by now.  Anyway – the nice lady swiped the card several times and then told mie “I’m sorry, you’re card isn’t working – it’s not that you don’t have any money in there it just isn’t reading the strip”.  Both my husband and sister are calling at the same time.  More chaos.  I said I don’t have any more money and asked my hubby, who’s now on the phone, if he can stop and pay for mie, since he would be passing by.  I already had half the food in my car and I told them I don’t have anything else to pay with.  Plus it was odd that the magnetic strip wasn’t working – the card is brand new – I just got it 2-3 weeks ago, the 4^th card since February.  Seeing my frustration another person comes up to type in the numbers and eventually he tells mie that didn’t work either.  Finally I say “what exactly is it saying?”.  He says – declined.  So, I ask him if my husband can stop and pay.  I ask my husband to stop and pay.  I leave with the food.  I now have like 6 minutes to get to my son’s game which is still several miles away.  And all the kids are screaming.  I’m not giving that food back.  Especially since I know my account still has a lot of money in it because I haven’t spent my bonus or tax refund yet.

I drive like the wind to the game and make it at 9:59 – literally just in time for my nephew to run my son’s stuff to him as he took the field. 

Guess who calls mie during the game?  The bank – twice.  I finally got to speak with them after the game.  They run through some transactions – “declined at chick-fil-a in (nearby city) at about 10am”.  Approved at rite aid drug store in santa clarita, CA at about 10am. 

Hold up.  First, we don’t have rite-aid near us.  Second, I no longer live in CA, never lived in Santa Clarita but no where it is, and it is at least 1500 miles away from where I am now.  Third, no matter your mode of transportation there is no way to simultaneously swipe your card at Chick-Fil-A in nearby city and Rite-Aid in Santa Clarita.  And there lies the problem with the card.

You heard mie say I just got this card 2-3 weeks ago?  And that it’s the 4^th one since February?  Yep.  That’s right.  Lucky mie!  #1 was the original, #2 was the replacement after #1 was compromised somehow so says the bank, #3 was the temporary card I received after misplacing #2 only days after it arrived, and #4 was the ‘permanent’ replacement for #2 which as it turns out wasn’t so permanent.  Thankfully I still have #3 (and #2 for that matter – because it hasn’t been long enough for mie to properly dispose of it!) so I have debit (but not credit) access to my account.  I asked the fraud lady what the heck is going on since this will now be card #5 in 3 months.  We’re not irresponsible with our cards and the problems have appeared to have been on the bank’s end with breached security, nevertheless the lady tells mie “maybe it could be one of the places you are frequenting”.  Um no.  So then she says that earlier in the week they had a security breach and that could be the cause.  I actually had read that in an online news article and though “there’s NO WAY I’d be so lucky to go through this again”.  Turns out I’m wrong and I am, actually, that fortunate.

They only got $8 and that will be refunded.  It could have been much, much worse if it weren’t for the fact that I was simultaneously using my card in two places 1500 miles apart (except actually I was only using my card in one place). 

The most annoying part about it all is that I won’t have access to my funds, which leaves mie at drive through windows without cash (because I never have any) and without a way to pay for my food and more importantly having to deal with changing all my auto-pay accounts to the new number.  This is seriously irritating.  I have to go through all of them and re-sign up for the 3^rd or 4^th time with the new card in as many months, except I can’t actually do that yet because I don’t have the new number.  So then I have to make a one-time payment to the various places with pay-pal, my hubby’s card, or *gasp* a check.  Inevitably I will miss something and I will get a late notice or an “oops” notice.  I can tell you Netflix is pretty creative with their “oops” notice.  I know – I’ve been lucky enough to see it for each of the last 3 payments. 

I’m beginning to think that the people I am paying are going to think that I am the one using a stolen card and that’s why I’m changing the numbers so frequently.  I don’t know if they’re that savvy but it wouldn’t surprise mie to see a fraud investigator show up to my house wondering what the hayride is going on with my cards.  Thankfully I should get a new “permanent” card in about 5 days.  I will be putting the temporary card (#3) in safekeeping, just-in-case.

So this all happens by 10am.  Before the day was done I also:

• Walked with the kids to a baby shower (without a gift, of course)
• Watched 2 kids (1 and 2 years old)
• Went to the bank to get some cash
• Went to McD’s for chicken nuggets to feed the 1, 1, 2, 2, and 3 year olds I was toting.
• Took all 5 littles to Home Depot for front-yard landscaping materials.  Yes I did!  And I got plenty of stares.
• Gave the littles a nap
• Re-landscaped my front yard planting areas.  This included pruning all the overgrown bushes, clearing out the bedding which was overgrown with grass, and planting about 30 new plants
• Let the kids play in the front yard (twice)
• Dressed the kids in bathing suits and let them play in the water (as I watered the new plants) – they also had the option to play in the dirt, which the littlest ones did happily.
• Picked-up the dogs from the groomer
• Did 2 or 3 loads of laundry
• Vacuumed my bedroom
• And a few other things…

I was physically exhausted. 

So how was your weekend?