Monday, July 11, 2011

Say What (!?!) Sunday

Recently, we've had a lot of gems coming from #7.  That boy just keeps us guessing and definitely keeps us working hard - phew!  Of the 4 he definitely keeps us on our toes but whenever we stop to try and consider what he's saying rather than getting frustrated we can choose to see the humor in it. 

Before I get into some of those though - let me give you one from our son L:

Foster Child

Mie: You know Logie, mommy is a tummy mommy AND a foster mommy. Daddy is a foster daddy and a tummy daddy.
L: Yes, and I want to be a foster child.
Mie: Well Logie, you're not a foster child - that would mean that you'd have to go live with someone else.
L: No mom, we just don't have to tell anyone that I'm a foster child, then I don't have to live somewhere else.
Mie: I see. Why do you want to be a foster child?
L: Because you're a foster mom and dad's a foster dad so I want to be a foster child. Just forget it mom. I'll be fine the way I am.
Mie: No Logie, I want to understand - what is it that makes you want to be a foster child?
We then had a long drawn out emotional tantrum about not wanting to talk about it anymore, etc..  Finally it came out - he wanted to be a foster "something" like we were foster mom and foster dad.
Mie: Ok Logie - how about being a foster brother?
L: Yeah, that will work and he was happy once again.

#7 - Mom - what are you getting me?
Mie: Nothing.
#7: Mom - are you getting me a drink?
Mie: No.
#7: Did you say yes?
Mie: No.
#7: But I want a chocolate chai!  (he usually asks for a strawberry chai...I've never given him something from starbucks...)
Mie: No, I'm getting Auntie K a coffee.
#7: What are you getting me?
Mie: Nothing.
#7: Is auntie K going to cough?
Mie: No sweetheart, she's not going to caugh I'm getting her a coffee.
#7: Is she going to cover her mouth?
Mie: What are you talking about?  I'm getting her a coffee.
#7: Are you going to say "God Bless you"? 
Mie: #7, it's time to play the quiet game (before mommy screams....)

#7 - On Living arrangements

I'm going to tell you this more as a story.  #7 is the oldest placement we've had.  He's also the one who's been able to verbally express the struggle he's going through the most.  So, we end up having a lot of conversations about things related to foster care and his life - usually at night when he's going to bed.  My husband (when he's home) often wonders what's taking me so's all because I'm answering questions and having conversations about whether he lives with us or his tummy mommy and daddy, when his next visit will be, and how long he will live with us.  He finally understands that he lives with us right now but he used to live with his mommy and daddy. 

His attorney came to visit this week.

A: #7 - what do you think about (tummy mommy)?
#7 shrugged his shoulders
A: #7 - if you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live.
#7: Here.
A: Ah, you like living here?  What do you like about living here?
#7: The bus
A: The bus?
#7: Yep. 
A: Would you like to go back and live with tummy mommy?
#7: No, I want to live here.  They live at the visit.

The attorney asked a few more times...he stuck with his story of living with us which I thought was a bit odd of him.  I suggested he ask about his last name, because I thought he might do his usual proud proclamation that he was X, X.

A: So #7, are you First Name, Last Name?
#7: NO!  I'm First Name, G Last Name!
Mie: No Ben, remember that your last name is XX, and our last name is GXX. 
#7: NO! My last name is GXX and I live here!!

Not the answer I expected.  Eek. Though I should have known better, I made one more suggestion, to talk about #7's bio dad, who is different from his mom's husband, also someone he calls dad.

A: #7, Tell me about daddy C.  Do you like daddy C.
#7: No.  (I quickly closed my eyes and hung my head a bit - that wasn't where I was expecting this to go).
A: Are you afraid of daddy C?
#7: No.
Mie: #7 - you like to visit daddy C.  Don't you want to see daddy C?
#7: No!  I want to live here!

He used to be so proud of his given name, so we frequently have called him by his given name.  It's a good strong name, kind of like saying John Smith.  A few nights ago I said "Goodnight John Smith".  He quickly corrected me.  NO!  I'm John G! (of course with the right words filled in).

Eek.  Say What (!?!)

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