Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tuesday's Tears - One Of Those Days

It was Friday.

One of those days.

I have been battling this cold now, enhanced by some mean allergies and an influx of mountain cedar in the area, for nearly 2 weeks.  Friday was the 2nd day of the big bad cold hitting mie hard.  I was feeling sick.  I had no voice.  More accurately, I had a voice that to mie sounds like a really annoying barking dog.  Or a goat.
So I was feeling crappy, I sounded crappy, I know I didn't look too hot, and I'd forgotten to take my allergy medicine.

One of those days.

I started the day with a meeting at work that just didn't make mie happy.  I wasn't feeling well and so I was moody and that didn't leave mie with as much patience with certain things that I would have liked to have had.  It bothered mie all day - apparently my quick recovery of patience was sorely lacking too.  I was actually angry.  And frustrated.  And you all know I cry when I'm frustrated.

It was one of those days.

I managed not to cry during the day no doubt out of pure exhaustion and lethargy than anything else.  Instead I decided it would be a good idea to go chat with the person that was causing mie concern.  That wasn't a great idea.  As I went to chat he shut the door nearly on my face and I turned around and walked away, more frustrated than before.  Of course, it wasn't directed at mie but someone else had walked into his office a few seconds before I'd arrived and they needed privacy - I was just a few minutes to late to be first at that point.

One of those days.

He faithfully came over to check on mie, knowing I wasn't ok, insisting that I talk about it.  I didn't want to - not like mie.  I did anyway.  I pleaded my case with as much passion as I could between 4-5pm on a Friday when I was not feeling well at all.  Though it wasn't a detrimental conversation it didn't help much and now it was 5:15, later than I like to leave but it should have been fine.

Should have, but it was one of those days.

I spent the next 90 minutes driving 10 miles of my 25 mile drive home.  Most of that was over maybe 3-4 miles.  I couldn't get anywhere.  I was moving 2-3 miles an hour most of the time, it felt.  I had to ask my husband to pick up the first two kiddos - I thought I'd get home faster that way and we could go out to dinner as a family as early as possible - that was our plan.  I spent more time on the freeway.  Apparently there was an accident.

One of those days for those people too.

I eventually ended up calling my husband to pick up the other kids as well.  This was apparently devastating news to Logan who was waiting for mie to come home.  My phone call home put him in tears - he thought I was driving into the garage and ran out with a surprise for mie that he had been holding onto all day.  When it wasn't mie and I was instead saying that I would be even later, that crushed his already fragile (tired) spirit.  They went to go pick up the other kids at daycare #2 and waited for mie in the parking lot.  I finally arrived at about 6:40.  Nope, I wouldn't have made it to pick them up on time either.


Rather than be happy to see mie when I finally arrived he was so overwhelmed that as he handed mie his gift he burst into sobs.  The heaving sobs where I knew I'd screwed up as a mom.  Except, I really didn't - I didn't have any control over it at all as my commute had taken at least an hour longer than it usually does - but that didn't make mie feel any better.  But I did - I hurt my son's feelings.  He'd planned something special and I disappointed him.  I sat and held him for a few minutes going out of my way to tell him how much I loved the gift he made mie.  It was a beautiful flower made from tissue paper.  I could tell it was made with love and I felt like a chump, which only added to the crappiness of the day.

One of those days.

We finally made it to the restaurant around 7pm, about an hour after we'd originally planned.  Mind you, this is our first Friday night together in at least a year and 7pm is #10s bed time.  It.  Was.  Packed.  I mean line out the door not letting people in to control room capacity kind of packed.  Though our friends who were eating with us had saved us a table, we waited in line for another 20-30 minutes to get in and eat at a pizza buffet.  We were all tired.  I held Logan most of the time in line.  Summer kept hanging on the door so no one else came in.  #10 was screaming.  Nice.  We ate.  We went home.  The kids went to bed.

It really was one of those days.

Thankfully, Saturday was a new day.  I still felt crappy but it was a good day.  I took the kids and my nephews (that's 6 kids total) to the museum.  We didn't have any incidents where I ended up covered in poop.  We watched a shark dissection and an electricity show/class.  We played.  We went home and had a nice dinner.  The kids went to bed.  My husband drew mie a hot bath and made mie relax in it before going to bed early.

THAT was one of THOSE days.  I'll take THOSE days anytime.

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