Foster Parent Friday #1 - Your chance for suggestions...

And now it's time for everyone's favorite segment...

 

But first, just so you know, it was 11:50pm.  This meant my husband and I had everything ready and cleaned up 10 minutes before midnight.  So, we sat down together and watched a few minutes of "There's Something About Mary" before going to bed around midnight.  It was so nice to have that 10 minutes to unwind with my husband.

 

I am going to shoot for a regular FPF segment later today, probably tonight after the kids go to bed. I have a handful of ideas but I'm beginning to run out of them. So, I thought I'd send it to you faithful readers, to see what suggestions you'd have for Foster Parent Friday topics. Here's some questions for you to think about to spur some ideas:

• If we were hanging out over coffee, what questions would you ask me?
• For those of you who think you might possibly think about foster parenting or adoption in the future, what are some of the concerns you have or questions you still have unanswered?
• What questions do you have about the kids in foster care?
• What questions do you have about "the system"?
• What questions do you have about how foster parenting is handled in my family (between my husband and I).
• If we have had "in person" conversations...is there a question I've answered for you that I haven't answered here on my blog, what is it?

Looking forward to the ideas folks...help an overworked mama out.

Thankful Thursday - Finished my assignment!

Phew - One more homework assignment down...it's the last one.  Now, all I have left is a final paper and a final exam.  I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.

I'm so thankful I've finished that assignment.  It was brutal and frustrating and due in 90 minutes.  I'm so thankful I've finished with 90 minutes to spare - which for a point of reference means I have 90 minutes left of Thursday.  I still need to:

• Take a shower - it's desperately needed
• Fill 5 dozen easter eggs for the school party tomorrow for the kids (they just told me tonight...). 
• Make 20 cheese sandwiches cut into bunny shapes for said party
• Prep a snack for 25 kids for said party
• Put away the boiled eggs I made today, some for said party, some for dyeing tomorrow
• Find 3 easter baskets

Ok...ready...break!  Wish me luck.  I'll tell you tomorrow what time I finished.

Working Mama Wednesday - Things I'm looking forward to...

School is almost out.  3 or 4 more weeks.  1 more homework assignment (due tomorrow, I haven't started!).  1 more final paper.  1 more final exam. 

Then I'll be done with coursework. Not done completely yet - I'll still have to do my comprehensive exams and propose my dissertation in the fall and then complete my dissertation in the first half of 2012.  But I'll be done with coursework.

I've been in grad school for 7 years getting a masters degree and now a Ph.D.  I really can't believe I'm almost done.  Being almost done and having a wonderful family that I'm passionate about gives me senioritis big time.  If I can just hang in there a little bit longer I'll be done.  Really!  And getting closer gives me dreams of all the things I look forward to in just a few weeks.  The list is probably MUCH different than most college kids finishing up their final coursework, but honestly it looks very similar to when I graduated with the undergrad degree many moons ago.

• Catch up with all the laundry - all washed, dried, put away, hung up, and ironed if needed.  Maybe even if not needed.
• Scrub and sanitize the bathrooms.  Heck, every room
• Clean the carpets
• Vacuum the stairs
• Catch up on couponing
• Paint the inside of my house
• Catch up with scrapbooking (I'm 4 years behind - and my son is 4...)
• Do some gardening - set up where I want to have my flower gardens and vegetable gardens in the future
• Setup my home office (right now its a catch all)
• Spend super time with my kiddos, with lots of crafts, baking, and reading books.  I'd also like to figure out how to regularly get my kiddos to the pool, which I couldn't do by myself per state regulations but I wouldn't even try - that's a disaster waiting to happen.
• Mop the floor.  Maybe even everyday.
• Work on a project with my husband.
• Take a shower every day. 
• Get in shape physically.  I want to try to shoot to run the half-marathon at a Dallas area lake with a fellow foster/adopt parent who does it as a fundraiser (or, at least on behalf of what she's doing).  This would be no small feat as the farthest I've ever run was a mile and that was a very big stretch for me.  So, I'll settle at first for walking more with my kids.
• Get my craft room organized.
• Sleep more.
• Get ready for baby.

So, there you have it.  This is by no means final, but it shows you how desperate I am for a break.  Really, I'm terribly excited about doing my laundry.

Anything but the homework due tomorrow night that I better stop avoiding or I'll never make it to the glory days of scrubbing toilets.

Until tomorrow...(hopefully after I finish the homework assignment).

Shout Out to the Lurkers

Hi Friends!

So, I have 13 whole followers.  That is of course if you don't count the ones I've blocked due to spam!You all know how well I do with insecurity due to lack of friends :) 

The thing is, I know I have a lot more regular readers because I can see how many visit my site each day.  Not to mention all of you who personally have told me what my blog means to you. 

I deeply appreciate each of you.  If you wouldn't mind, would you begin to follow me?  It helps me on days (or weeks) when I feel like being lazy and not writing out my thoughts for all the world to read.  It encourages me to know when my message (whatever that is!) is getting out to you all even when you don't comment a lot.

To show me the love, just scroll down to the bottom of the page and click "Follow with Google Friend Connect". 

...and if I accidentally delete you send me a note,  The email address is my blog name, no spaces, at Google.com.  Or,  you can comment with your email address and I'll make sure to reinstate you.  As always, you can comment with a private comment - I automatically do that with personal information (like email addresses) but if its something you don't want me to publish, just say so!

I love you all - Happy Tuesday!

Moolah Monday - Home Salon Treatments

One of the things I do as a frugal momma is try to limit discretionary spending when I can. An easy one for me to control is salon care for a few reasons:

1. First and foremost, I have a lot of kids (4 right now, but that changes)! There is almost no way that I can get to the salon with any regularity for any kind of service. I remember when I just had my son - my best friend had a son just a few months after I did and she always made it to the salon for pedicures, haircuts, etc and I didn't know how she did it (she was single most of the time). She just took her son with her! I remember taking my son with me once to get a haircut when he was 2 months old and I was just panicked the whole time. Since then I have taken him a few times to get a pedicure, which worked out fine, but now with 4 kids there is no way I'm taking them with me. So, to go to the salon I'd have to find a babysitter which is pretty hard and makes the salon treatment that much more expensive. With the schedules my husband and I keep there isn't an option to leave the kids with him either.
2. I am a pretty low-maintenance woman. I suppose I have to be based on #1, but really I always have been. My hair is curly but can be dried straight if I try really hard, so I really don't have the need to get a style cut very often. I can do regular trims on my own, but manage to get a haircut 1-2 times per year at a salon, usually on a break from work. Occasionally I'll get it colored, but again not very often and because I'm low maintenance and my hair is curly it isn't that big of a deal unless I try to go blonde again or something. Which I don't do because I couldn't keep it up. I don't particularly care if I wear makeup or if my toes are perfectly polished. I try to be presentable, but don't worry if I'm not at my best.
3. It's expensive. I just couldn't bring myself to budget for a pedicure, waxing, cut/color, manicure/tips, etc. each month because I just can't fathom spending that much on something so fleeting. Not regularly anyway. When I get a pedicure it's about $50. When I get a haircut w/color its about $175.

So, there are a few things I do to keep the salon expenses down.

1. I maintain a manageable look - I chop off my hair about every 3-4 years to the tune of a donateable amount, which typically then requires more frequent maintenance. Other than that I keep my hair at a color and cut that works well, is easy, and doesn't require frequent professional touch-ups.
2. I provide my own services to family - I am the family barber - I cut my husband's hair and my son's (usually) so I avoid those fees. I usually bring my foster kiddos to the kiddo salon because it's typically their first haircut and I want them to have that token first hair-cut picture and assorted memorabilia, but aside from that I do the cutting in my house (and my sisters...)
3. I do my own:

• Waxing - Using this set I wax my own eyebrows regularly. Occasionally this ends up in an error - but most of the time I can do a pretty decent job. I’ve screwed up twice, once was the day before my wedding and I got married missing part of the arch of my eyebrow…nothing an eyebrow pencil couldn’t cover up! (and the low maintenance me didn’t care anyway…). I have tried other waxing and let’s just say we won’t do that again...
• Manicures – I have a file, nail polish, and polish remover at my desk. I take care of my nails with an acrylic top coat and the file as I wait for my computer to boot up in the mornings. I occasionally apply a color, but since that doesn’t last long in my world I usually stick with au naturale
• Feet – I clean in the shower and do whatever filing necessary with home pedicure treatments. I have a pedicure station thing (massager, cleaner, etc.) but rarely get to use it.
• Facials – I use daily products to keep my skin healthy, including SPF lotion, and then as needed use scrubs, peels, and a steam mask (these latter pieces happen irregularly)
• Hot Oil Hair treatments – slightly heated olive oil makes a great treatment to dry curly hair. (And can be used to treat atopic dermatitis of the scalp in kids and adults alike!)

I’d be lying if I said I never visit the spa. I do try to get a pedicure every couple months when I can swing it (I’ve had 1 in the last 6 months, which will give you an idea of how often it happens). This is primarily a treat for me to relax and get pampered, which is the real reason I’d go to a spa anyway. Who’s with me on that?

Foster Parent Friday - Can you travel with Foster Kids?

Amazingly - this question first was introduced to us by the state in our PRIDE classes in the form of a statement. 

YES, if you go on vacation you should take your kids with you.

A la Jeopardy, my husband and I tried to figure out the right question associated with the answer because certainly there weren't people out there who thought their foster children were expendable during a vacation right?  Well, as we learned being in and around foster care rules are made for a reason, usually as a result of a tragedy of some sort caused in part by a foster parent's unthinkable action. 

The actual question does in fact turn out to be valid though as foster parents do have to pay attention to the rules about traveling with foster kids if and when travel does occur.  As I have recently traveled out of state these rules are particularly timely to share with you all (and as always, are Texas specific - other states have some sort of variation).

1. Traveling within county limits is almost always acceptable unless you will stay outside the home (i.e., hotel) for more than 48 or 72 hours.  Technically, traveling outside the county requires prior permission, which is unrealistic for us seeing as how the county line is 8 houses down.  Nevertheless - if you're reasonable and stick with the "48 or 72" hour rule, you're probably fine - and neighboring counties are probably fine too.
2. The 48 or 72 hour rule - If you are going to stay out of the home for 48 or 72 hours, as in staying overnight visiting someone else or staying in a hotel, you need to get permission in advance.  I say 48 or 72 hours because the paperwork that I've received all says that I have permission to travel within the state of Texas for 48 hours or permission to travel within the state of Texas for 72 hours...it says both of those things just like that and I can't figure out how I have permission for 72 hours and yet only permission for 48 hours...in other words why does it say both.  I guess it's best to let the caseworker know if it will be more than 48 hours.
3. Out of State travel - if you are going out of state, you need to have the court's permission in advance.  To get that permission the caseworker needs to submit something to the court saying where the child is going, with whom, where the child will be staying (address) and contact information.  I don't know if this needs to happen, but in the case where I am going out of state I provide that information to the caseworker, the CASA, and the ad-litem just in case.  Then, I maintain a record of written approval, just in case.
4. If in traveling a visit will be missed, it will need to be made up ASAP.

I have traveled out of state twice with my kiddos - once to Alabama for the weekend with 2 kids in 2 different cases from 2 different counties and once to California this past weekend with 1 kiddo.  Generally, the preference is to take your kids with you.  But what if you can't?

If for some reason you can't take your kids with you then you can do respite care.  Respite care is essentially a temporary foster placement with someone approved by the state for respite care.  In my most recent trip, I had my kids only 5 days before my trip was scheduled, so I couldn't reasonably purchase plane tickets to bring them with me or get court approval, nor was I confident that I could travel on a plane with 4 kiddos under 5 by myself seeing as how I just met 2 of them.  So, I used respite care.

Respite can take 2 forms.  In my most recent case I used a family member since the trip was only for 3 days.  To do that, I had to submit the information for each member of my sister's household (over 18) so the state could run background checks.  Because they passed, the kids were allowed to stay with them.  It worked out well because the kids had already met my sister and her family and weren't placed with yet another stranger for a few days. 

The other form of respite care is with someone who is licensed through the state either as a foster parent who has spots open in there home or who is licensed just to provide respite care.  In those situations, the state can help you find someone if there is a need, usually for 7 days or more.  Of course, as you get involved in foster parent associations or other foster/adopt circles you often end up having friends who are licensed, so you could use them as well.  Usually in the cases where respite is more formal, it is expected that you pay the respite care provider the amount of the daily stipend foster parents receive. 

Respite care can be useful when you have an adult-only trip (sometimes foster parents need a break just like any other parents!) or in emergencies.  Last year when my dad was injured I needed to hurry up and get to California, taking the first flight out there with my son.  Magically, I didn't have foster kiddos at the time so I didn't have to worry about all this, but if I did I probably would have been better off to find respite for them rather than bring them to California with me as I waited in the hospital for his recovery.  Respite can also be used when the state doesn't want you to take the kids out of state for some rea

Other than that, we are under the mindset that our foster kids are part of our family and we plan to do everything with them that we'd plan to do with our biological son. In between foster care cases, we try to take time to celebrate our "permanent" family, rest, and relax before the craziness begins again with the next call.

Tuesday's Tears - Return From Reunification

Sorry I've been gone - I traveled to California to visit family for a baby shower and became very ill in the process.  I think I have an inner ear-infection.

Speaking of the baby shower - in the middle I received a strange phone call from my husband on my mother's cell phone.  He said we got "a call".  We've had 8 kiddos in 13 months of fostering, so receiving "a call" isn't that strange.  It was strange because we're full - we're licensed for 4 kids and have 4 kids so we shouldn't be getting any calls about any more kids.  But what he told me next helped it all make sense and simultaneously broke my heart.

The call was about kiddo #3.  If you're following my kiddos tracker you'll remember that #3 was our little boy that was reunified with his parents a few months ago.  Until this month, he was the child we'd had the longest.  We had him nearly half his life.  You'll also remember that we built a relationship with his parents and opened our hearts to them over the months we got to know them. 

Apparently this past weekend he was removed from his parents again.  I know a little bit of why but I wouldn't share that here and I certainly don't know the whole story.  It doesn't really matter...it breaks my heart either way.  Though we were refereshed that the state asked us first, it's not nearly enough to console us for the loss of the situation.  First and foremost we are broken for our little guy that he is going through this and the consequences this removal will have on his life.  We're frustrated and angry and scared for him that he couldn't come  to us immediately because of the beauracracy of the system (though we understand it) and we hate that he is still with a stranger when we could take care of him in a home that is familiar to him. 

The other reason my heart is broken, and this may surprise you, is that his parents have (insert your own fallacy here) again and are losing him (at least for now....the long-term plan isn't my decision).  We hoped for them.  We prayed for them.  Ultimately, we couldn't make their decisions for them, but we certainly wanted them to succeed in parenting their son and living a happy life "on the right track".  I want to run and hug his mom and cry with her.  I want to tell her I'm dissapointed but that they are still valuable and can be forgiven as people.  I want to continue to hope for them.  I desperately want them to be a family.

But remember my letter?  I said that they are the best parents for their child.  And I believe that - I believe that every biological parent is the best parent for the biological child.  Except craziness gets in the way.  Drug abuse, selfishness, physical abuse, parental history (how they were raised), mental illness, and all that other nasty stuff just gets in the way and makes some parents unable to parent well.  So though I want them to make it - I want this little boy to have his biological parents to raise him - my heart now wonders if that will be the case, if it can be the case, if it is too late for them.  It's not too late for the little boy, he has lots of people to love him and raise him, including us if the need arises.  I just wanted it to be a success story so bad.  Maybe it will be still.

We are asking that we can have him back while he waits to go to a relative placement out of state - in our mind that's better than him being with a stranger.  And, we agreed to be his Godparents.  Maybe his parents have changed their mind now, but we do believe they meant it in their better days.  We feel a responsibility to this family and we love this kid - we want him to be ok with us while he waits.  It seems as if with him not with his parents we are his alternative parents primarily because we filled that role before, for a long time.  And we love him.  And we love them. 

Their struggles won't take that away.

I wish I knew what will happen in this case.  It feels like "our boy" is in foster care with a stranger and we don't have any rights to fight on his behalf.  We will continue to pray for God's will and hope that we can care for him while he's waiting and that everything else goes well.  God bless this family and care for our little boy while he's away and bring him to his permanent home soon. 

And take care of his parents too.

Thankful Thursday - My Husband Knows Me!

Last night my husband and I had one of the easiest nights since we've been parents.  We received our two newest kiddos last night.  The little girl went to bed easily right after our other little girl did.  Then, both boys sat and watched Scooby Doo for an hour before going to bed.  During that time my husband and I actually sat and watched a few TV shows together and cuddled with minimal interruption.  SWEET!

While we were watching a commercial came on for this show:

My husband stopped the show, hit rewind, and let me see it again (I missed it the first time).  He knew this was right up my alley.

I'm so glad my hubby knows me. 

Tuesday's Tears - Verbal Abuse

On my mind today is the tragedy of verbal and emotional abuse. 

Last night as we left our son's baseball game we ran into the antithesis of charming impersonated.  Imagine it.  We were leaving a late game, the six of us, proudly celebrating the oldest son's accomplishments.  It was dark as the game ended around 8:15pm.  We were all smiles, doing the t-ball parent thing (it helped that they won their game).  One big happy American family celebrating our love for each other.

As we get to our car a man shouts from near his car "Hey, you can't park there".  My husband replied "So sorry man, we'll move now".  The man went on "Sorry?  Sorry isn't gonna cut it..."  Then flew the vulgarity, the vain popping, etc.

My husband was on the farther side of the car.  I was closest by, holding one of our baby girls.  The boys had already ran closer to their side of the car to get in, which was even closer to this man.  He begins walking toward our car, continuing to scream at us with vulgarities.  I shoo the kids into their seats then turn and walk toward the man who is simultaneously walking toward our car.  I didn't want him getting any closer.

As I get closer to him, I calmly say "You don't have to talk that way around the kids".  He gets within inches of my face and yells "F*** Y***" as loud as he could...more veins popping from his neck and even in the dark I could see how red his face was.  Angry wasn't even enough to describe it.  I think he was a half second away from either punching me in the face or spitting on me.  (Better me than my kids, but it's a good thing for his sake he controlled himself to that degree...my husband didn't announce himself but he would have been easily able to handle the situation - enough said)

After that I said we had 4 kids - he would have to wait a few more minutes while we get in the car.  I bet you can guess that didn't make him any happier.

All this apparently over a parking spot.  He claimed we were blocking him in and he'd waited 30 minutes for us - all he had to do was go to the snack bar and they would have announced it if it was a problem, which it wasn't for every other car that was parked there, but I digress.

My heart broke with that situation and I've been bothered by it ever since.  Clearly, my family didn't deserve that treatment and it pains me that my kids have to grow up in a world where no matter how much my husband and I protect them they will see things like this from time to time.  And that bothered me.  It bothered me that my husband had to make the choice to "bow" to his anger in order to protect his family rather than stand up for appropriate behavior.

Worse of all - this man had 2 people in the car waiting for him as this all went down.  One was his child, the baseball player, and the other was either the mom or another kid - it was dark I couldn't see.  All I can think about now is what those poor people were going through.  Sure, maybe they are used to it now and their head of house has taught them to behave that way too - I hope not.  Regardless, this was clearly his normal M.O. - he had absolutely no reservations in his behavior toward a young family with 4 kids under 5.  Didn't censor himself at all.  So what has his family seen?  What has this boy seen?  My heart breaks for him.

Verbal abuse and other types of emotional abuse are so exrremely common and it's such a hard thing to solve.  It's one of those things the average Joe is just not sure how to deal with.  If you're in line at the grocery store and the adult in front of you punches their kid in the face you immediately react - stop the violence and call the police it's unnaceptable.  But when the person in front of you yells at their child something to the tune of "Your such an ingrateful brat!  Sometimes I want to punch you"...what do you do?  Do you intervene?  Do you call CPS?  It's a little bit more gray for the average Joe.  I'm typically one to intervene by offering to help the parent - then I keep a close eye on the situation and I've been known to report incidents of concern even when the behavior is on the borderline for most folks - I'd rather be safe than sorry, after all if they act like that in public what happens in private.  But generally as a society we're not sure what to do with verbal abuse and broader emotional abuse usually until its too late. 

I don't claim to have any answers.  Prayer I suppose is the best option. 

It grieves my heart.

A Letter to a Bio Mom on Attachment

This post is part of Foster2Forever's blog hop recognizing Child Abuse Prevention Month in April.  For more information and to participate - please see the bottom of this post.
I wrote this email to the mother of a child after the first weekend he spent with his parents and then Sunday night had to return to me.  He cried to leave them.  Though he stopped crying immediately after the car door shut and was fine, the last thing his parents saw was his crying out to them...he didn't say it verbally but his face said "Please don't leave me again".  No one in the situation had a choice.  I did what I could do...I wrote his mom this letter.

I know it (leaving him with me) was hard. I felt really bad for you all because I knew it would be hard.


It's important to try to remember this is normal for any child this age, but especially for one who is in his situation. He has two sets of "parents" and it is a bit confusing for him. The truth is that in an ideal situation, you and (his dad) are the best parents for him. Any other parenting situation besides you two healthy, sober, and being "good parents" to him is second-best. No matter how good of parents we can be to him, we will never be better than (his bio dad) and (his bio mom) could be as good parents. I honestly believe you all will be great parents to him if you can stay sober/clean and continue to work on things as they come in a healthy way. We are here to support you as you do that.


The great news is that kids are really resilient. They can bounce back from a whole lot, especially at this young age if they have the right care. Even though we've only been foster parents for less than a year, we've been around kids of all ages for a long time and my degrees are in psychology and education. It is REALLY hard as a mom (and dad!) to watch your child go through separation anxiety in normal situations. Parents often feel guilty in "normal" situations when their kids experience separation anxiety when they have to be dropped off for daycare the first time or when parents go out on a date and get a babysitter. I'd imagine you all feel guilty as it is to have your son away from you with everything that has happened and it would just make it worse on you that he's experiencing separation anxiety now. (Bio mom), it's really important that you and (his dad) work through the guilt in a healthy way. I'm not sure what's in your service plan (foster parents really don't get that information...its confidential), but if I were in your shoes I would probably make sure I was talking to a counselor about what you all are going through in preparing for monitored return, including any guilty feelings about separation anxiety. I don't want to overstep my bounds here, but I do want you to know that what (your son) is going through is normal and will probably cause emotions in you and (his dad) as you get him back through monitored return.


The great news is, with separation anxiety, as I said last night this is a good reaction. Separation anxiety is related to attachment. Children (and adults) can build healthy or unhealthy attachments to people (or things). Ideally in good situations children build healthy attachments with their parents. This happens when, as a baby gets older they learn they can count on their parents to meet their needs in a consistent way. So, when they are hungry or cold or tired their parents give them what they need. As children with healthy attachments get older, they learn that they can trust other people to help them meet their needs in a healthy way. When kids don't get their needs met in healthy ways consistently, kids learn to cope, either by protecting themselves by attaching to everyone who comes their way too easily or attaching to no one. Both of those are unhealthy.


(Your son) has never demonstrated to us unhealthy attachment. When he came here he attached quickly, but not too quickly. He had his needs met here and learned to thrive. He has had good visits with you all on a frequent basis where you have been emotionally present and provided for his needs. Now he is right smack in the middle of the age where he has good memory skills but doesn't necesarily understand, that is why separation anxiety occurs so much during this age (8-36 months). (He) knows us and knows that we are safe, but he also knows you and is learning you are safe too. He loves you and enjoys visiting with you. So, now what we are seeing with his attachment is that he is learning to be attached to you, which means he is learning to trust that you will meet his needs consistently. If that happens, he will develop a secure attachment to you all. We will continue to meet his needs when he is here and support visits with you all so that he knows he is loved there and here so that by the time you get unsupervised visits and then monitored return, he feels safe with you all and is ok saying goodbye to us.


I am attaching a guidebook on separation anxiety. It's really long, but has a lot of good information. Here's a couple sections I'd recommend:


13-23 - describes healthy and unhealthy attachment, and signs and symptoms of both. I think you'll find that (your son) is demonstrating normal healthy reactions in this situation.


30 - 34 - the impact of neglect on attachment


36 - 39 - normal development and implications for kids in foster care from 0-2 years old


62-70 - child's reactions to separation


91-95 - Reactions children have to transitions - this is mostly about what a child goes through going into a foster home, but in some ways (your son) will experience this going back to your home because it is a "new place"


96 - 98 - how to prepare for the transition


98 - 102 - how you can prepare for him to come home (again, more written for foster families but you might find some things useful)


113-115 - how parent visits affect children


124-125 - preparing for a foster child to leave a foster home


I hope this is helpful. If we continue to work together (your son) will have a great chance of succeeding as he moves back home.


Here is another article I thought was interesting. Again its for foster/adoptive parents, but maybe it can be helpful.

I hope this gives you a bit of insight into a few things we do around our house, how we sometimes interact with biological parents, how we sometimes say goodbye to some of our kids, and to give you a bit of insight into attachment and bonding.

To participate in this blog hop: