Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Tuesday's Tears - Tied Tubes

A year ago this week my daughter's brother was born.  This was hard.  Extremely hard.  For the most part we've learned to accept what happened - what else can we do.  We wish our little guy a happy happy first birthday from far, far away.

I suppose it's in this light that I received a strange phone call.

Mie: "Hi, how are you?"
Someone else: "Hi it's (insert)"
Mie: "Sure hi!  How are you?"
Someone else: "I'm ok.  I got my tubes tied today."
Mie: "Oh.  How do you feel about that?"
Someone else: "I feel good about getting it done but it doesn't feel good (the body)".
Mie: "Sure, I understand".

Mind you - I haven't spoken to this person on the phone in nearly 8 months.  This is the first conversation I've had since then aside from a few brief texts.  

I'm not exaggerating, this is nearly verbatim.

Someone at work today asked mie if I plan on having any more (biological) children.  I said I didn't really plan on it but I don't think about it much, if it happens it happens and I hope it does but I don't really count on it.  That's the truth.

The phone call I received today kind of felt like a separate instance of infertility (or third, I suppose).  My husband and I can't conceive.  Our daughter's brother is being raised by another family.  Now the other parents who may have birthed potential siblings for our children can no longer conceive either.  Secretly, yes, I'd hoped one day my children would have a biological sibling, if not both of them then at least one of them (raised in our home).  I suppose that isn't going to happen.

I really don't think about having more biological children often but when things like this come up it rips a little bit of the scab so that it never really has a chance to heal into a complete scar, calloused and hardened.

I suppose I don't really want to be calloused and hardened though.

So here's to God keeping us on our toes.  

1 comment:

Vertical Mom said...

"The pain reminds our hearts that this is not...our home." I think Laura Story got it right on that. I'm feeling that way about a lot of other things lately. {{HUGS}}