Thank you so much to everyone who has donated generously to the "Bring Miss E Home" fund. We're at $225 vs. the $10,000 needed for legal fees. Please, if you can, take time to donate to bring her home. I have personally written a check for most of the legal fees on behalf of this family. It is not money my family can necesarily afford and basically most of it is on credit, something I don't necesarily believe in, but I tell you this to tell you how much we believe in this cause.
It is very difficult to write in vague terms and ask people for money. I think, at this point, I can safely tell you that "my friend" is actually my sister and this child has been my niece for more than a year. I was trying to be vague for those who know me in real life until my sister herself told more people what was going on. In one fail swoop our lives have been very much changed.
We have received some promising news in this case in the past few days. It seems maybe mediation will be a possibility and all parties may have agreed to mediation sooner rather than later rather than waiting for a judge's ruling. We're hopeful this means that all parties will consider my sister's petition to adopt as a viable solution and Miss E will be back soon. This would also be the least expensive option.
Pray for us as we go through this journey. I've had to explain to my son what divorce is. I have not connected the dots for him about the divorce and Miss E but the conversation about divorce broke his heart yesterday. He sobbed. I sobbed. It's hard to explain something so terrible to a 6/7 year old. I wish none of this happened. I wish I had a better explanation for him. I wish it could all go back to normal except the issues that led to the divorce were resolved and God redeemed the situation and everyone was singing His praises about the redemptive love God provides. Instead I see brokenness and hurt and I have to be honest with my son about how broken this world really is sometimes. I'd rather we never had to have that conversation last night. He's scared that his cousins will go away (imagine what that must be like for a child who has had 24 siblings with only one staying forever?). He's scared that his mommy and daddy will divorce.
This is all on top of the looming changes we expect in the case in our home. Though no decision has been made in certainty, the vibe of this case is that our sibling group, including Baby Baby, will go home in the somewhat near future. This is despite CPS recommendations, recommendations by CASA, recommendations by ad litem. Rumor has it enough paperwork wasn't done early on or in the previous removal/case. I don't know. All I know is we stare down the barrel of the gun facing our lives to be turned upside down, again, in a case that doesn't look promising for the welfare of the children, knowing their expressed desire is to finally stay put and not be forced to go, again, with Baby Baby knowing no other parents or family or home than the one he's been safe at since birth.
So there you have it. That's where we are. That and facing an unsurmountable legal bill that seems to have no real reason behind it. It didn't have to happen like this. At all. None of it.
It's all really confusing right now. I have to remind myself of the truth I have learned over and over again:
Why Mie? (or Why anyone of us involved in this situation?)
Because God is God and I am Mie. God is in charge. He knows best. He knows the other side of these things and can plan better than I can. He also created mie. He did not create mie to be God. He created me to be Mie, strengths, weakenesses, opportunities and all. He loves mie the way he created Mie. He has and will continue to equip mie for the journey He has before mie. I am faulty. He still loves mie. I am inferiour and yet perfect in my weakness through Him. He has always had this under control. He still does. I do not but that's ok - I know He does and that's all that is needed. In the meantime I walk one step in front of the other trusting God will provide for each step and knowing His grace will abound.
I'm still praying for redemption, in all facets of this situation, according to His will. Please join mie.