Tuesday, January 08, 2008

Pray Pray Pray

You know how when someone struggles with something and they ask for prayer it almost always gets worse before it gets better.

I'm not giving the devil any credit here, but I know that when we commit to seeking God and turning to him to provide us with what we want the enemy tries to stop us with discouragement. He tries to throw it in our face like "see, God doesn't listen to you or he doesn't care".

Its horrible that my issue is what it is, and I apologize in advance for this more negative post.

I asked my small group to pray for me this week, since more and more people are asking about when we are agoing to have another baby and how, since we would love to have another baby but it just doesn't happen right away for us, or hasn't yet, that I know it will probably start to bother me at some point.

Now I have people praying for me (and J) to help get us through this time when we are not yet allowed to have another baby and of course, what happens? I hear of a pregnancy in a close friend.

Don't get me wrong...I am THRILLED for her. Absolutely completely excited. WOOHOO! We have sons that are 3 months apart, and I love it when we can get together. WE went through our first pregnancies together and would love to go through another with her.

But its that age old problem those of us with less than perfect fertility face. Thrilled for them, heartbroken for us. And, actually, I'm not heartbroken. My wonderful husband always does a good job keeping my head and heart in the right place and for the most part since we've wanted to be pregnant again nothing has really affected me. But this one did. For a few minutes I was sad.

My point about this blog is to urge us all not to give up praying about this...I'm not giving up and giving in to what the enemy would try and have me believe and feel and distract me from the track I've been on toward an extremely passionate relationship with Christ.

I'm so grateful for those of you out there that continue to pray for us and encourage us. Its such a blessing to know we can share with you and we have your support :)


FunkyMonkeyJunk said...

Marie, I will definitely pray. I understand that feeling when people ask "When are you having kids". For many years it was hard for me to not get bitter with them and say, "When God feels like it, which is obviously not right now, so get out of my face until you see me with a bulging belly. I might let you know then."

Thank goodness I was never so angry to ACTUALLY say that. Talk about shutting down a conversation. LOL!

Most people that ask those questions don't understand how hurtful it is to those of us that had a hard time getting pregnant. I remember having the same feeling when someone would ask, "When are you getting married." My curt response was "Ask me again when I can find a date." Funny now, not back then. It hurt.

So having gone through those awkward conversations, I just don't ask when someone is starting their family or having their next baby. If they have something to tell me, they'll tell me. Otherwise I butt out of that part of their life. I'm probably OVERLY sensitive because I've been hurt by converations like this, but I just wish more people would be sensitive to this situation and not ask. Honestly, it's none of their business. If a couple is childless, it might be by choice, but many times it's not. Why take a chance and open a wound by asking?

Anonymous said...

Marie and Jason, Ryan and I will definitely be praying for you two - that God would give you peace and patience during this time you are waiting.

Emily said...

I came across a comment you left on my blog about natural childbirth and decided to visit your blog again. When I read this post it really hit home. I think our children are the same age. My daughter was born Oct 1,2006. We wanted our children really close together. Maggie is a constant nurser so it took me 11 months to have a period.During those 11 months I saw so many people women with a child younger than Maggie get pregnant again. I began to get fearful. Infertility has always been a fear of mine along with miscarriage.

I did finally get pregnant almost right on Maggie's first birthday.

I know how you fel and even though I don't know you personally I will pray for you.