I am desperately trying not to become jaded by the system. Not to become one of those foster parents and by that I'm not referring to the evil dangerous ones of which I will never be but one of those who are tired of fighting the system.
Our kids deserve better. They deserve to have someone to fight on their behalf. They NEED it.
Oh but It. Is. So. Hard.
Last week we finally learned the (initial) fate of our #16's siblings. I'm told in a text message that court did not go well, that the judge finally ruled on the 14 day hearing (8 weeks later) and with no other rationale the kids were ordered back to the home they were removed from. I do not know this home. I do not know the family. I just know what everyone has described to me. This is not a safe place for "my" kids to be.
There is now nothing that can be done about it (in the natural world). Judge has ruled. Despite whatever evidence there was to remove the judge has decided it wasn't enough. Who knows what the reason was. I wish I could tell you what I have been told about this place. You would be furious. I will tell you that it involves multiple dangerous scenarios in the same house, any one of which would warrant removal in many situations. These kiddos have now lived without any family of their own for 2 months only to be sent back to the place they were "saved" from to begin with. With all of that said, the investigating agency isn't left with much choice.
Now it must escalate far worse than it was in the past to get ANY help to those kids. My guess is that there will be no services - the department can't give the perception of harassing the family now that the judge ordered the removal to be unwarranted (for whatever reason). So if there was drug abuse or domestic violence or mental health issues - all of it can be left unchecked, unsupported, unhealed. The kids would be left amidst it all. If it got slightly worse - maybe they're left outside in the cold for a while, they show up to school dirty and hungry, they start showing up to school irregularly - there won't be anything the department can do? Afterall - it will only go back to the same judge who will do the same thing and send them back. Again. It will have to escalate to violence toward the children. Battered. Bruised. Bloody. Probably multiple times. Much quieter, deep neglect. Even then...
I have been praying for these children since I knew they existed. I've been praying they could be all together, including #16. I've been praying they could come live with us. Am I disappointed? Yes, of course, I wish they could be at our home, all together, one big happy family.
But as foster care goes...
I am not even worried about my feelings. The sadness I thought would be there for "losing" these children has been non-existent or at least greatly dwarfed by the feeling of despair and fear I have for these children. I am genuinely concerned for them. My heart hurts for them.
On paper adoption with us looks better for #16 when the siblings are where they are today. The reality though is that with the judge's ruling as it was the future for baby baby may not be so bright either. There will be pressure. It will be a fight like none other to keep this child safe. I don't even care anymore (well, I suppose I do some) whether they end up with us or not.
I just want to go to sleep at night knowing their safe, loved, and provided for.
I wish that wasn't too much to ask.
It isn't too much for the One who holds the world in his hands. Please join us in praying for these siblings who desperately need miraculous intervention and everyone else in the world who through no fault of their own are victims of injustice. They don't have to stay there...
Monday, March 11, 2013
Moolah Monday - Our "Fair" Share
Greetings everyone and Happy Monday!
It is a happy Monday for mie in that this past weekend was super accomplished. And by that I mean I did my taxes finally. mostly. And I went to sleep at 7:30pm on Friday night. SWEET.
I just wanted to give you a glimpse into what taxes look like from where we sit.
I use Turbo Tax. If you're not familiar with the tool, here's a brief overview. It walks you through the process of filling out each of the categories related to taxes in a logical order, not necessarily the order the tax forms lead you through. As someone who only stopped doing the paper tax forms in 2011 because I honestly LOVED filling out the paper, I can wholeheartedly tell you I love using Turbo Tax. (This is in no way sponsored and there may be other great products out there...just my experience). As you enter in information about your family and tax-related situation, you watch as the tax total changes, just like that. It starts out at 0, but as you go you can directly see the impact of every entry you make into the tool.
The first thing it asks us is about our family situation and whether it has changed. Here's where I got to delete two kiddos from my home, fix Summer's SSN, and add two new kiddos, #9 & #10 who left in July but made it long enough to claim them. Easy enough.
I use home and business because we have a rental property so the next section is business-related. It immediately added $6500ish to my total refund due because last year we had a rental property loss that we weren't able to take. I went through the time-consuming process of adding up 2012 receipts, digging through paperwork, and even resigning up on my mortgage-company's website for that property and entered everything into the system. As I did, the total refund grew to $11,000+.
The next section is about income. I'm not going to share our specific income but I will tell you as a point of reference it is LESS than $250,000, what we kept hearing was the line for "wealthy" individuals during the last election cycle. I feel we're wealthy because of what we have in Christ and how I know most of the under-developed world lives, but we're not wealthy by American standards; we're not out buying yachts or flying on private jets. (We're not really flying on planes much as far as that goes...aside from our trip to Hawaii last year we haven't flown anywhere that I can remember since Logan was free...more than 4 years ago).
I entered in our income information, including taxes paid, an amount about DOUBLE what I made working full-time through college, just in case you were thinking we must not have paid taxes already. Suddenly my tax refund of $11K+ turned into owing $1500. Why? Because yet again this year we're not able to take the rental property loss as deduction because our income is too high.
The next section had to do with personal deductions and credits, things like childcare credits, education credits, and itemized deductions. I'll spare you the boring details but needless to say despite a lot of charitable giving (nearly the amount I earned working full-time through college), foster-care related donations, and several other related items our tax amount turned back into a refund far less than the original amount shown. This took into account that several things that were mentioned as possible credits we were disqualified for because our income is too high. As an example, the childcare credit (dependent care...) allows for up-to $3000 per child or $6000 total to be claimed, assuming you spent that much for your children. We received $1200, despite the fact that we spent at least $6,000 in 2012 on foster care daycare alone, not to mention the childcare for our own 2 children.
Here's my point - that adds up to $15,000 in tax refund that we would have received if our income was slightly less, an amount someone else making slightly less would have received. Having made slightly less, they would have also paid less in taxes to begin with, BTW. Instead, we ended up paying an amount in taxes more than what some full-time workers earn in a year.
This is not meant to be a pity-party. I'm not whining nor am I complaining. I simply wanted to give one example of what it looks like to be a family working as hard as we are, giving as much as we are both financially and otherwise, when we do our taxes. I don't think our perspective is well-voiced in the public forum and since this is mine, here it is.
It is a happy Monday for mie in that this past weekend was super accomplished. And by that I mean I did my taxes finally. mostly. And I went to sleep at 7:30pm on Friday night. SWEET.
I just wanted to give you a glimpse into what taxes look like from where we sit.
I use Turbo Tax. If you're not familiar with the tool, here's a brief overview. It walks you through the process of filling out each of the categories related to taxes in a logical order, not necessarily the order the tax forms lead you through. As someone who only stopped doing the paper tax forms in 2011 because I honestly LOVED filling out the paper, I can wholeheartedly tell you I love using Turbo Tax. (This is in no way sponsored and there may be other great products out there...just my experience). As you enter in information about your family and tax-related situation, you watch as the tax total changes, just like that. It starts out at 0, but as you go you can directly see the impact of every entry you make into the tool.
The first thing it asks us is about our family situation and whether it has changed. Here's where I got to delete two kiddos from my home, fix Summer's SSN, and add two new kiddos, #9 & #10 who left in July but made it long enough to claim them. Easy enough.
I use home and business because we have a rental property so the next section is business-related. It immediately added $6500ish to my total refund due because last year we had a rental property loss that we weren't able to take. I went through the time-consuming process of adding up 2012 receipts, digging through paperwork, and even resigning up on my mortgage-company's website for that property and entered everything into the system. As I did, the total refund grew to $11,000+.
The next section is about income. I'm not going to share our specific income but I will tell you as a point of reference it is LESS than $250,000, what we kept hearing was the line for "wealthy" individuals during the last election cycle. I feel we're wealthy because of what we have in Christ and how I know most of the under-developed world lives, but we're not wealthy by American standards; we're not out buying yachts or flying on private jets. (We're not really flying on planes much as far as that goes...aside from our trip to Hawaii last year we haven't flown anywhere that I can remember since Logan was free...more than 4 years ago).
I entered in our income information, including taxes paid, an amount about DOUBLE what I made working full-time through college, just in case you were thinking we must not have paid taxes already. Suddenly my tax refund of $11K+ turned into owing $1500. Why? Because yet again this year we're not able to take the rental property loss as deduction because our income is too high.
The next section had to do with personal deductions and credits, things like childcare credits, education credits, and itemized deductions. I'll spare you the boring details but needless to say despite a lot of charitable giving (nearly the amount I earned working full-time through college), foster-care related donations, and several other related items our tax amount turned back into a refund far less than the original amount shown. This took into account that several things that were mentioned as possible credits we were disqualified for because our income is too high. As an example, the childcare credit (dependent care...) allows for up-to $3000 per child or $6000 total to be claimed, assuming you spent that much for your children. We received $1200, despite the fact that we spent at least $6,000 in 2012 on foster care daycare alone, not to mention the childcare for our own 2 children.
Here's my point - that adds up to $15,000 in tax refund that we would have received if our income was slightly less, an amount someone else making slightly less would have received. Having made slightly less, they would have also paid less in taxes to begin with, BTW. Instead, we ended up paying an amount in taxes more than what some full-time workers earn in a year.
This is not meant to be a pity-party. I'm not whining nor am I complaining. I simply wanted to give one example of what it looks like to be a family working as hard as we are, giving as much as we are both financially and otherwise, when we do our taxes. I don't think our perspective is well-voiced in the public forum and since this is mine, here it is.
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