I cannot believe we've made it here, to this point, so very far from where we started.
Tomorrow we sign the adoptive placement agreement for our 4 kiddos. While by itself this doesn't mean our kids are forever part of our family (that happens at consummation, also known as the court date), it does mean they will no longer be foster children.
My kids will no longer be in foster care.
Technically, I will not be their foster mom anymore. Logan and Summer will no longer be foster siblings. And, since we're closing our home after this placement, we'll no longer be a licensed foster home.
5 years. We've been on this journey now for 5 years, licensed for 4 1/2. In the grand scheme of life that seems so short. But foster care. Foster care is invasive. By nature it permeates your life, your family, and the way you live. It isn't all bad. It isn't all good. But it changes you. So much has happened in these past 5 years. In many ways our lives have been on pause, waiting for someone else to do or say something that will drastically change the dynamic of our family, all the while the core of our family has been adapting to the constant change in the wait. What we've seen, what we know now that we didn't know then, the love and the trauma...we'll never be the same again.
As I sit here and look at the faces of my husband and children I'm so thankful for this segment of our journey. The road before us is still wide open and we've only begun to travel the path we've been sent on. Nevertheless, I'm glad to wave goodbye to The System and all that is within it.
I look forward to the relief of finally breathing out after all these years.