Sunday, February 07, 2010

The Year of Patience

I'm not naive enough to believe that there will be a theme for my life for every year and that year will last exactly 365 days and that at the passing of each of those time periods I will perfectly pass from one phase of my life to the next. Nevertheless I've mentally compartmentalized last year into a particular theme and it seems to follow an appropriate metaphor to continue this year on the next stage in the process. So I will. And it's my metaphor so the fact that it's not a perfect one will be something you just have to get over.

Side note...I've recently learned that people don't think I'm as funny as I think I am. So, I guess it's possible that my humor doesn't come through in my blogs either. I've learned IRL to tell people when I'm being funny, which makes them crack up. Unfortunately I don't think they're cracking up because I actually am funny, but, instead because it's funny that I'm telling them I'm funny. Which makes me even more funny. Nevertheless the last statement in the last paragraph was meant to be funny. So there. (also meant to be funny...see...I'm funny!).

Back to the point of this blog. I've determined that the theme of last year was all about laying the foundation. And I was the dirt. ;) (that was funny!) No really though, think about the process of laying a foundation. The actual laying of the concrete may not seem to be very difficult. I mean, not to take away anything from those who do that on a regular basis because I certainly couldn't do the job for a long time, but in terms of the whole foundation laying process as I understand it this is really the capstone activity. It's the prep work for a foundation that is really the hardwork. It's the painstaking measurement and design work that can (I assume) be mentally exhaustive. Then, its the digging. The nonstop, back-breaking digging. And leveling. And digging some more. And leveling some more. And then eventually there you are....filthy and exhausted and tired and ready to give up for the night. And it's only then that you get to backup that concrete truck and direct the flow where it needs to go. Yes, there's some smoothing and filling work that needs to happen still, but in the grand scheme of things, that's much easier (and quicker, not necesarily by choice!) than the work done to prepare for the foundation to be laid.

That was my 2009. The foundation laying year. Spiritually, physically, mentally, was all digging and sorting through dirt to get to where I (and my family) need to be for whatever is coming in the future.

Now, usually when you lay a foundation there is a plan involved. You are laying it the way you are laying it for a reason. The right thickness, dimensions, etc. You have a vision for the future on what the end result will be. In fact if you are going through the homebuilding process and have laid a foundation without first drawing up plans I'd strongly suggest that you take a break and figure out the plans before moving forward. that was funny.

Actually though it's a good point...because sometimes before you can move forward with laying a foundation some of the arguably hardest work is demolition and tearing down what was previously planned as the ultimate home. It's easier to move forward when the new one can be built on the old foundation, but that's not always possible. Which means to lay a new foundation you need to remove everything old and only then you can move forward. Lots and lots of work.

We certainly had work that needed to be done to remove our old plans in replacement for the new ones.

So now, although I believe there probably is some more foundation work wrapping up and we'll always need to be inspecting that foundation going forward to make sure it's healthy, it's now time to move forward to the next step....which I'll call patience because I have nothing else to call it. And this is where the analogy kind of falls through. But not really...I think it will work.

Patience. Waiting for the foundation to dry. Waiting for inspections and approvals and funding and good weather. Waiting for supplies and laborers and the plans of others to fall together to make it possible for ours to proceed. Waiting for The Architect to give us the go ahead.

The Architect. If nothing else was learned last year it is that we, for sure, are not the architect of the future. We could be, if we wanted to take that role I guess, but we'd fail dramatically because we do not thave the certification to take on that role. Our plans would crash to the they did...and I'd much rather not go through that again. So, instead we wait for the supreme Architect to move. I have a feeling this is just the beginning of our 'year of patience' whether it lasts 365 days or not...we have a lot ahead of us.

Right now we're being patient in selling our home and/or buying a new one. We're being patient in waiting for the answer on whether or not we will continue to live here or somewhere else in the future. We're being patient to hear back from CPS on our license. We're being patient to figure out HOW we'll hear back about our license and then start the search for our forever family. We're being patient to figure out if we'll get calls right away with foster-to-adopt children or if we'll turn a corner and start looking at straight-adopt cases first. We're being patient to figure out how this will all affect our lives as we know it.

And yet I can know one thing for sure....whatever comes next, I will need patience to continue. So, bring it on...and as we continue to wait on the Lord and act out our patience as we move forward in daily life we will slowly see the progress He's making. Then we know at some point we'll be able to see at least a glimpse of what the Architect's plans are for our lives.

1 comment:

Monkey Momma said...

I love seeing you at this point. It's awesome, not just because I've had the blessing to witness how God's working in your heart, but because I know from personal experience that the peace that comes with "letting go, letting God", is a pretty amazing feeling.