Tuesday's Tears - New Year, Same Drama

Thank you all for the well wishes about #16.  Having a baby in our home is a dream come true for everyone.  Summer wants to hold him all the time and asks where "her" baby is.  Logan loves holding him, feeding him, burping him, and we're both enjoying the fact that baby is wearing the clothes Logan wore when he was a baby.  Even my husband is doling out the baby-love.  We're enamored by this sweet kiddo and LOVE having a newborn around.

We're not loving the cost of the private nanny we've had to hire while I'm back at work until he can go to daycare.  Argh.  (Someone asked about FMLA - yes, foster parents do qualify to take time off due to FMLA however it is not paid time off unless your employer volunteers to pay.  Usually after having a baby through pregnancy you would receive short term disability or other related funds based on the fact that after having a baby your body needs to recover.

I do believe if this child has to leave our home it will really, really hurt.  It will be hard for all of us.  Though I'm hoping he'll be one who stays, based on past history this baby won't be in our home forever.  I don't even want to think about it.

What you don't yet know is that shortly after we got new baby, we welcomed #17 & #18 into our home.  Interestingly, these two are related to a child my sister currently has in her home so it has felt natural to welcome them into ours.  It feels as if their family is kind of reunited, without all of the adults in their family of course.  We can see a cool world where given current placements these three remain forever where they are and end up being raised together, something that wasn't happening where they were.

As we speak though we are currently waiting on word about #16's 3 siblings.  I'm not going to get into the details here but needless to say they need a home and everyone agrees that siblings should be together.  As with all kiddos they need a stable, final place to live if that is at all possible - permanency is always critical.  This place could be with us or someone else but it is important that the decision be made soon.  We could find ourselves soon welcoming them into our home or sending #16 to live somewhere else.

Please pray for a decision matching God's will to be made soon as there are several people involved and affected by this decision.  We are concerned about the siblings in our home, the baby, the baby's siblings, my sister's foster child, and all of our biological children based on the outcome of this decision.  Though I can see a world with or without baby and his siblings, I can also see a world without any of them based on how people do or don't work together in these cases.

Right now I'm seeing a lot of ugly in the system.  It really discouraged me for a day or so last week.  Today though I'm back to remembering why we do this, why we care, why we love these kids even if they leave at some point.  I'm also back to trusting that no matter the outcome of this decision or how much it hurts for a time when they leave that God is still in control.  I KNOW that this is true.