I have been away from my blog for a couple days due to some work commitments. I just spent a few (or 60) minutes catching up on my favorite blogs from the past couple days and there are a few themes jumping out at mie, begging mie to write about.
First, for all of you celebrating a 1st, congratulations. I noticed a few first birthdays and several first anniversaries of placements.
I also noticed several of you are at the point in your cases where termination is apparently imminent and yet not yet done. I know you are facing court dates and trials and a lot of uncertainty. Let mie say that 1 year ago we were there with our sweet #4 - termination was all but certain and yet it felt like an eternity before anything would be final. Tonight though I sat watching my husband cuddle with his daughter who is so smart and beautiful and now ours. Finally ours. Forever.
I pray that all of you who are facing imminent termination and hoping for quick adoptions will receive that blessing soon. I pray for patience in the wait.
We too have court coming up - tomorrow in fact. We are not at the point where we're facing termination. At this point the case is still headed for reunification. If that is not possible, and there are several indications that it may not be, there is a relative resource that is waiting on the completion of an ICPC.
We're at the point in this case where the future is completely unknown. It's too early still to believe that it will turn out with any particular outcome, but none of them appear to be desireable at this point. Termination is bad for all apparent reasons and yet reunification doesn't bring much promise either. There are drugs. Poor parenting. One parent who has dissappeared and overtly chosen drugs over the kids - I'm sure you can guess which one. Generational history of abuse and overall poor family influences. All of which have already and promise to continue to harm my kiddos who deserve so much more. My kiddos, who love their Mommy S and I know would experience a loss with termination.
The relative resource doesn't promise much either. First of all, it is a male relative of the parent who has dissapeared. It's not fair for mie to judge someone I've never met but I'm uncomfortable sending these kiddos to the home of a stranger and because of the relationship with this particular parent there would not be any family continuance, the whole point of relative resource families. He's far away from the parent who is still in the picture. I would guess that there wouldn't be any regular contact with her - they'd lose her anyway. Then there is the fact that this relative is an unmarried male who lives with his (male) partner. This concerns mie greatly. Less I be misunderstood, I strongly believe in the nuclear family and the role of a mother and father. Nevertheless that is not my issue in this particular case. My concern is that for reasons specific to this case these kiddos are terrified of males. They have become attached to my husband but the only reason for that is the role I played as a nurturing female enabling them to feel safe and trust my husband because I setup the environment where they first could trust mie as a mother. I may be completely wrong about the situation but I imagine my sweet kiddos going into a home with two men and not having the mother immediately available to comfort them and show them these men are safe.
Back to court - tomorrow. I expect it to be simple. The longest part of the day will be the drive there and back. I don't expect a turnover. I don't expect a change in the plans. I don't expect a decision on the ICPC. Nevertheless I know to expect the unexpected and to charish each moment I get with my little kiddos.
If nothing else, foster parenting teaches us to enjoy and appreciate every moment we have with the kiddos in our lives because time is fleeting and we're not guaranteed another day.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Moolah Monday - Research Participation
Last week I told you about how we're saving money in groceries by shopping every other week. I also briefly mentioned that I had participated in a research study. This is a great idea for our family that helps us have extra income periodically that really helps our family budget without too much work.
A few years ago a friend at work told mie about a local research firm that paid money for participation in research studies. This company is a bona-fide research company and does not sell your information (other than the information you agree to provide as part of the research, of course) and does not try to sell you anything. They have a database with information about you and your family (income level, age, # of children, etc.) and some of your preferences and habits (health diagnoses that you disclose, cars in your family, types of extracurricular activities, etc.). They use this information to match you to research studies their firm has been hired to conduct (or provide an audience for) and when there is a match they call you to see if you can participate.
Participation can include anything from a brief written survey to a focus group or even a more in-depth product testing panel. If you're familiar with research design, the parties who hire this firm are trying to get a sample from the population that matches their target consumer.
I've been on the list with this group for a while but have never really matched a survey or been available during the times available, until last week. Last week they called mie with a brief 30 minute car survey, a beer tasting survey, one about paper goods (paper towels, etc.) and one about sporting goods and apparel. I didn't qualify for the car survey because my car prior to the Sienna was too old ('01). J was actually targeted for the beer tasting but since we don't drink at all that was out. I qualified for the paper goods one but because I work at an organization that sells paper goods I was disqualified. Because Ihave had been running to train for the marathon relay I qualified for the sporting goods and apparel focus group.
I went after work one day last week. It was a 2 hour survey (6:45 to 8:45), sort of near my work (so there wasn't much commute involved) and for my participation I received $80 cash at the end, no strings attached.
It was a fun experience, though the whole time I was worrying about how things were going at home. I will say though that having a research background I am pretty sure they were disappointed that I qualified. They were looking for highly active sports enthusiasts. That is not mie. I qualified for my training with running but other than that didn't fit in AT ALL. That's usually ok because they target particular audiences, but in reality I can pretty confidently say that I wasn't there target audience. Not my problem though - I gave my opinions and earned the $80.
I will also say that I was a bit disappointed too because of the way I "fit" into the target audience. As it was, I was representing the "older" female in the group - there was a younger girl in college and I was the token 30 year old. I can't believe I was representing all the old ladies out there. Jeesh :)
Anyway - this $80 was unbudgeted so we're using it for a few cool things. First, I took the first $10 for "myself". I used this to buy breakfast at Chick-Fil-A one morning last week. Nice treat. We used $20 to take the kids to CiCi's on Friday, which technically was a budgeted expense but now will give us $20 extra to use on something else. Now we have $50 leftover which will be used in a few ways.
First - After writing that last paragraph I realized we didn't tithe on that money. We should and we will. $8 out.
Second - Parents night out is coming up at church in a few weeks. It will cost us about $20 for us to put our kiddos in childcare for the night so we can go out on a date. We wouldn't have planned it because we're trying to be frugal and save, but since we have this extra we'll take advantage of it. We have a couple gift cards to a restaurant that we received for Christmas and our anniversary, I think, so we're going to probably use that for a dinner out.
The remaining money might be used for another trip to CiCis or maybe something else - I haven't yet allocated those dollars to something specific. That's ok - we'll find a good home for it somewhere :)
If you're in the DFW area we use Dallas By Definition. Otherwise, I'm sure you can do a Google search and find some research companies with good reputations that you can use to sign yourself up. Happy hunting!
A few years ago a friend at work told mie about a local research firm that paid money for participation in research studies. This company is a bona-fide research company and does not sell your information (other than the information you agree to provide as part of the research, of course) and does not try to sell you anything. They have a database with information about you and your family (income level, age, # of children, etc.) and some of your preferences and habits (health diagnoses that you disclose, cars in your family, types of extracurricular activities, etc.). They use this information to match you to research studies their firm has been hired to conduct (or provide an audience for) and when there is a match they call you to see if you can participate.
Participation can include anything from a brief written survey to a focus group or even a more in-depth product testing panel. If you're familiar with research design, the parties who hire this firm are trying to get a sample from the population that matches their target consumer.
I've been on the list with this group for a while but have never really matched a survey or been available during the times available, until last week. Last week they called mie with a brief 30 minute car survey, a beer tasting survey, one about paper goods (paper towels, etc.) and one about sporting goods and apparel. I didn't qualify for the car survey because my car prior to the Sienna was too old ('01). J was actually targeted for the beer tasting but since we don't drink at all that was out. I qualified for the paper goods one but because I work at an organization that sells paper goods I was disqualified. Because I
I went after work one day last week. It was a 2 hour survey (6:45 to 8:45), sort of near my work (so there wasn't much commute involved) and for my participation I received $80 cash at the end, no strings attached.
It was a fun experience, though the whole time I was worrying about how things were going at home. I will say though that having a research background I am pretty sure they were disappointed that I qualified. They were looking for highly active sports enthusiasts. That is not mie. I qualified for my training with running but other than that didn't fit in AT ALL. That's usually ok because they target particular audiences, but in reality I can pretty confidently say that I wasn't there target audience. Not my problem though - I gave my opinions and earned the $80.
I will also say that I was a bit disappointed too because of the way I "fit" into the target audience. As it was, I was representing the "older" female in the group - there was a younger girl in college and I was the token 30 year old. I can't believe I was representing all the old ladies out there. Jeesh :)
Anyway - this $80 was unbudgeted so we're using it for a few cool things. First, I took the first $10 for "myself". I used this to buy breakfast at Chick-Fil-A one morning last week. Nice treat. We used $20 to take the kids to CiCi's on Friday, which technically was a budgeted expense but now will give us $20 extra to use on something else. Now we have $50 leftover which will be used in a few ways.
First - After writing that last paragraph I realized we didn't tithe on that money. We should and we will. $8 out.
Second - Parents night out is coming up at church in a few weeks. It will cost us about $20 for us to put our kiddos in childcare for the night so we can go out on a date. We wouldn't have planned it because we're trying to be frugal and save, but since we have this extra we'll take advantage of it. We have a couple gift cards to a restaurant that we received for Christmas and our anniversary, I think, so we're going to probably use that for a dinner out.
The remaining money might be used for another trip to CiCis or maybe something else - I haven't yet allocated those dollars to something specific. That's ok - we'll find a good home for it somewhere :)
If you're in the DFW area we use Dallas By Definition. Otherwise, I'm sure you can do a Google search and find some research companies with good reputations that you can use to sign yourself up. Happy hunting!
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